


My Sun and Rain

by orphan_account



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Action/Adventure, Alternate Universe - New Timeline, Angst, Developing Relationship, Drama, Eventual Romance, F/M, Gen, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Minor Character Death, Psychological Trauma, Recovery, Science Fiction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-20
Updated: 2018-08-22
Packaged: 2019-05-26 00:32:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 42,180
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14988872
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: There are stories about what happened, who saved Earth and who protects it still, stories about those who tore the Confederacy apart. Not that it matters after so many years of war.





	1. Prologue

_Year: 2047_

_Location: Kree-Lar_

There are many stories about how the war began, it was a frequent topic of debate on the streets of Tak, and presumably across the rest of Kree-Lar. It was difficult not to search for answers to their current plight lasting nearly three decades with no end in sight. So, the citizens spent their days in the mines and on the streets, spinning tale after tale about how they’d ended up there.

The most famous legend telling of how a man whose skull was engulfed in flames, a woman who could move faster than the wind, and one with the power to split planets apart tore the Confederacy’s ships apart. A few of the more extreme versions of this story involved a time-traveling rock, and a galaxy where it was Terra that was ripped apart by these heroes.

Though most would say that that’s impossible. There were bombs or weapons from SHIELD. That it was a successful attempt from Terra to prevent further intervention from aliens after their heroes beat back the Titan, Thanos.

The only thing everyone seemed to agree on was that the war started after the death of Qovas, a Remorrath and Crixon, an Astran, both of them officials in the Confederacy, by the hands of the Terrans.

Emperor Taryan, of their distant sister planet, Hala, speaking to them over telescreens, insisted that The Astrans and the Remorrath were vengeful, but the Kree, coming out of a thousand-year conflict with the Nova Empire, were not. That he was not looking for another war, but to other means of expansion. But that in refusing to help the Confederacy, he’d brought one on himself and Terra was long forgotten in the ensuing war.

After seven years, locked away in this military compound, she knew the military’s party line well, she knew to explain everything away, despite the horrors.

___________

Standing at attention, her gaze trained carefully on the monitor on the wall in front of her, she waited, ignoring the excited chatter of the soldiers around her. Altogether there were probably five hundred cadets, sitting in neat rows under the rusting dome of an old hangar, the space humming with their voices and their nervous energy.

Today was the day they receive their first assignments, at long last, after fives long years of training. Most of her peers threw her pitying glances, laboring under the delusion that with no family to buy you a place of honor, skill was essentially irrelevant; there was no path to glory for someone like her.

Except, they were all idiots, it was easy to find the path when you knew which buttons to press to get a map.

Selection didn’t take long to begin, but it certainly took awhile to complete. She stood at attention for the better part of the afternoon, watching as her peers’ numbers were called and they were assigned their posts. She watched the joy, the disappointment, none of it mattered in the slightest, she knew exactly where she’d end up.

At long last, they called her registration number; 40-256-5, and she was allowed to break rank and approach the announcer. They handed her a new identification badge:

_Number: 40-256-5_

_Age: 19 years (Hala)_

_Position: First Lieutenant_

_Division: 27 Location: Ceres_

______________

She sat in the back of the mess hall, tucked away in a corner, joined by two of her new peers; Hek-Sel, five-years her senior and far too old to have just finished training. And, Maston-Dar, her former rival for being top of their class at the training facility, before she’d been experimented on; now, she could beat him with her arms tied behind her back with ease.

All of them were to be lieutenants under the Commander in his new position on Ceres.

They ate in silence, which suited her tastes just fine. The food was bland, and there was never enough of it, but she’d grown used to it. The kitchen staff must have gotten a new shipment from Hala because the fruit served had yet to get overripe.

Her terminal chimed on the table, drawing the attention of her two companions.

_Come to HQ at your earliest convenience._

Her stomach clenched with dread at the message, suddenly, she didn’t care to finish her meal. She quickly typed out and sent a response.

_I’ll be there within the hour, sir._

“Who are you talking to, Scrappy?” Maston drawled, leaning into her space, trying to catch a glimpse of her terminal.

She switched off her terminal, more out of spite than a real need for secrecy, and reached for the tumbler of wine in front of Maston. She proceeded to drink half of it, resisting the urge to screw her face up at the taste.

Maston made a slight noise of protest, cut off by Hek-Sel’s; “You’re not of age, that’s not allowed.”

She leaned towards them, gesturing pointedly with the glass in her hand. “The Commander wants to see me,” she explained. “Tonight.”

Hek-Sel and Maston exchanged an uneasy look. Maston turned back to her, with something like pity and for once she didn’t mind.

“I’ll take your oranges. You better drink the rest of that.”

______________

She set out on foot, the hood of her cloak, pulled tightly around her, obscuring her face from passers-by. Rain was pouring from the sky, pooling on the uneven, pitted streets, damaged by decades of Astran bombings. The wind whipping across the city almost obscured the noises of the street; the arguing, the shouts of those trying to sell products on the street, the cries of children of both happiness and pain.

It was not so very long ago that she was one of them; living in a building half collapsed from a bombing, where there was never anything to eat, and they were always cold. The ward of a miner, one of many who lost everything when the war reached Kree-Lar and the mines were destroyed.

She was so far above all of them now; a lieutenant in the Emperor’s army and soon to be on her way to the front lines on Ceres.

The higher-ups, generals, and commanders lived in a compound on the east side of the city, far from the mines, the training facilities, the slums, and the brawling mob. Their buildings rose high into the sky, black glass walls sharp against the stormy sky. Large transport vehicles whizzed by her down the unpaved road leading to the gates. Their wheels spinning muddy water onto the walkway; it soaked through her cloak and the worn trousers of her uniform, chilling her to the bone.

She approached the checkpoint on foot, stopping at the guard station and holding out her communicator for the guard to verify her identity.

“And what brings you here tonight?”

“The Commander,” she began, focusing on keeping a tremor out of her voice. “Wants to see me.”

The guard checked a list on her terminal before waving her through with a look that plainly said s _o help you._

She continued into the compound, then through the airlock into the primary residence building, pulling off her cloak as she went. The walls were pristine, the floor, gleaming dark wood, the decorations were extravagant. A familiar sight by now, nonetheless one she wondered at ever time; _did all Halans live like this?_

A concierge waved her up to the glass desk and handed her a silver syringe filled with clear liquid; potassium iodide to combat exposure to radioactive waste from Astran bombs. Every Kree-Laran was instructed to take them after spending time exposed to the outside air, so it was a pity that they could only be afforded at such a high price nowadays. Though it provided an incentive to join the military, as a soldier, she got them at no cost.

She took the syringe, saying nothing to the concierge as she walked past him to the washroom beyond the desk. The space was too pristine, the ceramic sink and stone floors gleaming in the light, the mirror reflected a crystal clear image of herself. The darker blue circles underneath her eyes looked more like bruises than fatigue, and the scars on her cheek and chin were glaringly apparent. Her skin was pale, far more than the complexion of any Halan— almost tinged with grey, her lips were pale and dry and thin. She looked sick.

At least her hair was getting longer, reaching just past her shoulders now, though it was not yet long enough to properly tie back when she fought. They’d shaved it off for the experiments and the operation; it felt a bit like rebellion to have it this long again, it felt like revenge.

She tugged the zipper on the front of her uniform jumpsuit, shedding the garment down to her waist. Her sleeveless undershirt exposing scars on her shoulders and arms, byproducts of years of training. She lifted the hem of her shirt, and jabbed the syringe into her left side, pressing its contents out of the tube. She didn’t flinch, taking the injections for years had numbed her to the discomfort, and discolored the skin on her left side.

She pulled her undershirt back down, tossing the needle into the depository beside the sink and shrugged the jumpsuit back over her shoulders, zipping it up to the middle of her breastbone. She glanced back in the mirror, the pit in her stomach growing stronger at the absence of tasks except meeting the Commander. She smoothed a hand over her hair and splashed water on her face, more to stall for time than out of necessity. When it could be avoided no longer, she gathered her cloak and stalked out the door, continuing down the hallway to the elevator. She took the elevator to the fifth floor, stepping out of it, directly into the Commander’s apartments.

“In here.” His voice rang out before she had the chance to take stock of her surroundings.

She wove through the small maze of hallways, following the source of the voice.

The Commander was standing near the window, gazing out at the compound when she entered the bedroom. Despite the late hour, he was still in uniform; a long jacket made of fine cloth, embroidery at the cuffs and along the back with silver thread, trousers, and a uniform shirt. He was preoccupied with something on the glass tablet he held in right hand.

“You wanted to see me, sir?” The Commander did not turn around as he spoke. “I’ve just received the orders for our new regiment from my father.”

Emperor Taryan. She waited silently for him to continue, not feeling like provoking him to aggression.

“They’ve won the battle on Ceres, he wants me to oversee the occupied planet. It’s a rather important assignment with Ceres’ history and proximity to Astra. I trust you, and the others will prove up to the task.”

“Yes, sir.”

The Commander turned around at that, stalking towards her, the dark makeup around his eyes made them seem impossibly wide, even more, alarming in the half-dark. Unconsciously, she stepped back into the room.

“So, selection went well?” He asked, his voice taking a lighter tone, even as he stalked towards her and she stepped backward.

“You made sure that it did, sir.”

“Suppose I did.”

She took another step back, and the back of her knees hit the low bed frame and buckled. She allowed herself to sit, then fall back. She stared at the ceiling forcing herself to ignore the Commander’s cruel chuckle, and he pushed her the rest of the way onto the mattress, kneeling, his knees on either side of her hips. He took her wrists in his hands, holding them down near her head.

“And what do you have to say to me for that?”

“Thank you, sir.” No matter how many times she’d been in this position before, the words were chilling to say and came out clumsily.

“Hm?” He released one of her wrists, hand dropping to the zipper of her jumpsuit.

 _“Commander,”_ She already had three different plans for how she’d kill him, if she could, perhaps by the time this was over she’d have fifteen.

“What was that, Sinara?”

She bit her lip, hard enough to draw blood, utterly unwilling to give him the satisfaction. But he was leaning closer, his breath warm across her face.

_Fuck you,_

“Faulnak, sir. Thank you.”


	2. The Dome

_Year: 2048_

_Location: Ceres_

There had been rioting at the docks this morning, but, now, streets were quieter than she’d ever seen them. Anyone who knew what was best for them was locked away in their homes as they patrolled the streets. It was their biggest day for arrests in four months, her group had personally rounded up and processed eighty of the riot’s perpetrators.

But it had been hours since they’d seen anyone, moving through the streets between low stone buildings. The city was an endless maze of the structures, interspersed with green spaces, away from which there was protection from that system’s sun. The heat was oppressive, dressed as they were, in heavy, grey lieutenant uniform jackets, trousers, and boots. The stray hairs falling out of her ponytail were plastered to her neck with sweat and the air felt too thick to breathe.

“There’s no one around, not even down there.” Maston remarked, turning back to them from his position on the corner of a street. Can’t we just call it a day?”

“We’re supposed to sweep the next six blocks.” Hek-Sel replied.

“It’s hot.” She chimed in. “No one will be out.”

Maston gestured her appreciatively. "Even Scrappy agrees, do you have any idea how rare that is?”

“I had no idea. We only spend all day together, every day.” Hek-Sel retorted, his voice so monotonous that she almost missed the sarcasm in the statement.

“Let’s just go back.” Maston continued, using the sheathed blade of his knife to push Hek-Sel in the direction of home. “Faulnak’ll never know the difference unless she sells us out for more favors.”

Sinara rolled her eyes and turned on her heel, leading the way away from the center of the town.

The Kree compound was located outside the city by about half a mile, beyond some Ceresian crop fields. They had left the compound on foot to sweep the edges of the city for rioters in the morning and would have to return on foot now.

Sinara had to admit, it was a very beautiful walk. Compared to Kree-Lar, Ceres was paradise. The sun shone nearly everyday, high in the clear blue sky. The planet not yet developed enough to experience industrial pollution like the stuff that resulted from the mines on Kree-Lar. So, the water was clean and abundant and the entire planet was covered in greenery. Faulnak had explained to her once that Ceres never experienced changes of season because of its high orbital… eccentricity? She didn’t understand any of it beyond the fact that it meant there was very little variation in weather and plants never stopped growing.

Of course, the entire Kree delegation was horribly allergic to Ceresian plant life and potassium iodide injections were replaced by allergy-suppressing injections. And she was growing accustomed to the faint cough that resulted from either the suppressors or the allergies, that never seemed to go away. The walk through the planting fields always made the cough worse, and she found herself wishing that they’d been allowed to take a pinnace into town with them.

Besides the horrible plants, Ceres had no native sentient life. Anyone who lived here before Kree occupation had been part of an Astran colonization project. Much like Kree-Lar, Ceresian-Astrans were agrarian, producing much of the food sold on Astra, so controlling the docks was an important objective. Keeping the Astrans weakened by a lack of food could spell an end to this war.

So, it was no wonder there was rioting in the streets and at the shipping docks, from their perspective, this was a wretched violation of their livelihood.

 _If only they could see what Kree-Lar has become as a result of their war, they’d be so happy with their sun, and we could do whatever we wanted_.

____________

 

They moved through the gates unchallenged as always, no one ever seemed eager to challenge Commander Faulnak’s lackeys. Through the gates, there was a large yard where some of the landing ships were parked, covered by makeshift tents to protect them from the rain. Beyond the yard, the main compound was housed under a large dome. They passed easily through another security checkpoint and an airlock before stepping into the blissfully allergen-free space.

The Dome reached fifteen stories high and stretched a quarter mile. It contained two rows of apartments faced each other on opposite sides of the central corridor where they now stood. As usual, it was bustling with soldiers. They milled about, conversing and usually arguing, sometimes playing betting games on their terminals or eating or drinking.

It took her a moment to adjust to the increased noise that was always a shock, coming from a place as quiet as Kree-Lar. If this many people were ever around and talking at once, it was had probably meant that they were under attack. She ducked her head and slipped through the crowd, leaving Maston and Hek-Sel somewhere behind her as she made her way towards her apartment.

Levels three through fifteen housed soldiers, the first two levels housed the training facilities, conference rooms, and mess halls. Despite her lack of experience, Faulnak had arranged for her to have an apartment on the upper levels, away from the rabble and the noise on the lower levels. Her apartment was on level eleven, accessible only by an elevating platform that deposited her in an interior corridor near her quarters.

As Sinara made her way down the white-walled hallway, she kept her eyes trained on the stained grey carpet; most of the people who lived here resented her presence. She finally reached the door to her quarters, emblazoned with the words; Apartment F11-225. She tapped her terminal to the scanner on the door and it retracted into the wall, closing as soon as she stepped over the threshold.

Her quarters were cramped, made of all metal and manufactured wood; the main room had a sort of half-wall separating the entrance from the rest of the room. The half-wall and the wall to her right had storage space for her few belongings, as well a tiny kitchen facility that she had no idea how to use. Beyond the half-wall, there was a sitting area; a curved sofa and a low table where her communications system was set up. The far wall beyond the sofa was glass, overlooking the inside of the dome, the window-wall had a sliding door that led to an exterior balcony-walkway that connected all of the rooms. To the right of the entrance door, there was a tiny bathroom, no bigger than the ones on an intraplanet transporter. Directly next to the bathroom door was the door to her bunk; it was barely more than a crawl-space, her bed took up most of the room, leaving only a sliver of floor to walk on. Nonetheless, they were her own, and a more than welcome change to living in barrack dormitories on Kree-Lar.

She settled on the sofa, staring out the window to the opposite row of apartments, where a group of soldiers were congregated on the balcony as one of them piloted a small drone above the central corridor. Sinara had no idea why they were so engaged in the drone’s flight, with their cheering and chattering that she could hear even from where she sat, but she found her own eyes following the drone as it swooped through the hangar.

She must have sat there for a long time, watching the drone because her attention was pulled back to reality when the automated lights flickered onto their ‘night’ setting. Sinara shook herself and checked her terminal; no new messages. Some tension gave way deep within the center of her chest; if Faulnak hadn’t contacted her by now, he would probably leave her alone for the night.

_________

The timer-light in her bedroom flickered out at twenty two hundred hours, half an hour after she settled onto her cot to spend the rest of the evening on her terminal. When the light flickered out, she switched the screen off and placed it on the charging station built into the wall and pulled the blankets around her shoulders.

Her head barely hit the pillow before her terminal was vibrating, three short buzzes, one long, repeating over and over; the signal for an emergency.

Her muscles tensed, her heart squeezed in her chest, the air rushed from her lungs— _adrenaline._ She pushed the blankets aside and swung her legs out of bed, grabbing the terminal as she went and switching it on.

On the screen were her orders, report to your divisions situation room, and five new messages from her team, which she scanned, briefly.

_HS: Situation room, now._

_MD: No one missed the alert, dimwit_

_HS: We’re standing next to each other. I was telling Sinara._

_MD: She’s asleep. Didn’t you see the time?_

_MD: Also, this is an emergency, why did you bother typing that out?_

_Idiots…_

She pulled her uniform and boots back on, making her way to the door of her quarters as she dressed. She was still doing up buttons and zippers when she entered the hallway and began to make her way to the elevator platform.

There was a strict procedure in the Dome, during an emergency, everyone was assigned an exit point to control the crowds; so she got on the elevator platform quickly, followed by a few others assigned to the same area. None of them spoke to her or to each other, everyone too wrapped up in watching their terminals for more news.

Her heart was hammering in her chest, but focussing on keep her breathing from betraying that fact did wonders to keep her mind blank.

She stepped off the elevator platform and entered the throng of soldiers milling about, going every which way, trying to get to their stations. As she went, she heard a thousand different versions of what was going on; the Astrans were going to destroy Ceres, the Astrans were going to destroy the Dome, the Remorrath had destroyed one of their fleets, the riots in the city had somehow taken a sharp turn for the worst, and so on. Clearly, none of them knew shit.

Her station was about three hundred meters from the base of the elevator platform, she made her way through the crowd easily; weaving in and out, and, when necessary, pushing people out of her way. She stepped into the situation room, an expansive room filled with five rows of metal benches facing a computer interface. The room was half-full, the Commander and a few of his generals stood at the front of the room, deep in conversation.

She sought out Hek-Sel, sitting the the back corner beside a very intoxicated Maston-Dar. She threw the latter a very tired look before assuming her position on the bench beside him.

“We’ve a full day of patrols tomorrow.” She commented.

“Probably not after this bullshit.” One of the lieutenants, Sata, muttered, turning halfway in her seat to look back at them.

“Do you know anything of what’s happening?” Hek-Sel asked.

“Not much. Though I overheard, it’s got to do with Hala.”

Maston laughed loudly, drawing the attention of everyone in the vicinity. “What? Those bastards had it coming.”

Sinara stared at her feet, just hoping that whatever punishment was coming to Maston wasn’t coming to her as well.

“Steady on, Dar.” Faulnak’s voice rang out, from the front of the room.

She winced at the sound, then ignored Sata’s forthcoming concerned glance.

“There are many Halans around you, and we don’t need more trouble.” Faulnak continued. “We just received word that Remorrath forces performed a missile strike on Hala, effectively destroying our military’s headquarters there and wiping out most of the the capital commonwealth.”

The room fell silent for a long moment before someone to her left piped up, asking how many were lost. _Half a million. Some military, government leaders, and their families were evacuated after the first hit_.

Half a million was only a small fraction of the Kree-Larans lost to Emperor’s Taryan’s war, doubtless, this would be seen as the bigger tragedy, Sinara thought bitterly. Discovering that they weren’t under direct attack had calmed her worst fears, this just seemed like unpleasant news that could’ve waited for the morning.

“Ceres is our most valuable military establishment at the present moment, so Emperor Taryan and the delegation from Hala will be traveling here. I know many of you will not be accustomed to living in the primary hub of all of our activity, but you will rise to the occasion. Ceres will become not just key to ending the war, but it will be the center for the Imperial government. You here are our highest ranking and finest officers on Ceres, I have every confidence that you will do what needs to be done.” Faulnak paused in his tirade, then “Dismissed.”

————

Sinara tucked the sheet around her, under her arms and secured underneath her torso. The sheets felt rough against her bare skin, she was sure she was imagining it but the fabric felt like sandpaper, scraping her skin raw. Her quarters weren’t abnormally warm, but her skin felt like it was burning, and yet doing nothing to warm the chill she felt deep with in her. She curled away from Faulnak, pressing herself as close to the wall as she could. If she could have slowed her breathing and her heart rate, she would have feigned sleep, but the crushing feeling in her chest was overpowering.

 _This used to be easier._ She thought. But the longer it went on, the worse it made her feel; worse and worse and worse until it was something so massive that not even she could ignore it. She was good at ignoring things, it made things easier, she was more effective when she could ignore things. Tonight she could not.

Faulnak got up and left the room, she could hear him through the walls, puttering around in her bathroom. The thought of him in her bathroom, invading her spaces, embedding himself further and further into her life made her blood boil and her stomach churn. Her fingers itched for the knife she’d stowed between her mattress and the wall… _just in case_. She wanted to hurt him and she wanted him to be afraid of her.

 _Not yet_.

He returned all too soon; throwing himself onto the mattress, pulling most of the blankets to his side and propping himself against the headboard.

“The delegation from Hala will be here early, so we best be up to greet them.”

Sinara nodded once, stiffly, assuming and hoping that that would be end of the conversation. Aside from this particular situation, the events on Hala and on the docks would have been enough misfortune for one day.

“Do you have nothing to say?” He demanded, his two-fingered tap on her shoulder more aggressive truly necessary.

“I don’t know your family, sir.”

“Then I envy you. My father is an idiot, his weakness for that Terran weapon caused this whole mess. Now he’ll come here and undoubtedly manage to lose us this outpost as he lost the capital. He hasn’t got what it takes to lead.”

Sinara couldn’t be less interested in what he had to say, but she was in no mood to fight about it.

“And what of your brother, sir? Perhaps he will prove helpful in persuading your father.”

Faulnak tended to be forgetful when he was drunk, so she already knew all about the Emperor’s younger son, a student of biology, a black sheep in his family. From Faulnak, she knew that he was a disgrace, from others, that he was a prominent scientific mind on Hala, and not only because of the family he belonged to. Most agreed with Faulnak, he had chosen a position of no honor for the son of an emperor. It was all the same to her, their opinions and arguments were worth nothing and only went to show how little they cared about her kind.

But she’d let Faulnak go on his tirades; in the meantime, she’d get some sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to my beta, E and to you all for reading!  
> ~sinara_smith


	3. The Riot

_Year: 2048_

_Location: Ceres_

The sun was shining, bright as ever despite the early hour, reflecting off the Dome’s steel exterior. The wind whipped across the empty expanse of pavement, the landing strip for incoming spacecraft, tearing at her clothes and hair.

The delegation on the side of the landing strip was much larger than the event truly required; generals and lieutenants, even a select few foot soldiers stood at attention watching the still empty sky above them. As always, her team stood at Faulnak’s side, silent and wary as the generals made conversation around them as was expected of them.

The ship appeared in the sky above them, a sort of oblong triangle made of black metal. The ship had an elegant, flowing appearance to it, no sharp edges, a smooth exterior, all smoothed angles and lines. It was the opposite of any ship she’d ever been one, the utilitarian gunships with their thick metal walls and guns jutting off them every twenty feet. The kind of boats that weren’t built to go anywhere quickly but built to do as much damage as possible. The Emperor’s ship had the best drive in the known galaxy, able to make the trip from Hala to Ceres in a matter of days; her trip here had taken nearly sixteen days going at almost full speed.

The ship circled the dome nearly ten times before it was ready to land, getting closer with each rotation, its engines were silent but the wind the landing created was deafening, crashing over her ears. She resisted the urge to raise her hands and block the wind out, resigning herself to plugged ears rather than break her stance.

A hatch on the side of the ship opened as soon as the ship touched down, and she found herself wondering if the passengers had been standing, waiting for the entire landing. If they had, the ship must be even more advanced than she knew to be possible, to maintain stability for that long while entering the planet’s atmosphere was unheard of.

Emperor Taryan stepped off the ship. Her first thought was one of surprise. _He’s so short!_

The Emperor stood a bit shorter than she did, small as she was from so many years on Kree-Lar. He dressed much like Faulnak did, leather duster over dark clothes, a sizable geg-ku brooch, and boots and weapons, he was ready for a fight. A fight that someone as heavily guarded as the emperor was unlikely to have. Like many of the nobles, he wore makeup, black around his eyes, white on his forehead, from what she could gather; she did not want to linger on his face too long.

She allowed her gaze to slide over the emperor’s shoulder and lazily across the guards arrayed behind him until she found Faulnak’s brother.

Her heart stuttered in her chest, prompting a sharp intake of breath. He was taller than his father, wearing fine cloth instead of leather. He wore no brooch and had covered the better part of his face with the white powder. His eyes were deep-set above high cheekbones, light against the dark makeup ringing them.

Maston shot her a glare from his position near the Commander’s shoulder, she caught it in her peripheral vision but looked determinedly ahead.

She’d never seen anyone quite like him. He was so strange looking, she wondered if it was intentional.

Faulnak was stepping forward, clasping his father’s forearm, saying indistinct words, probably of welcome and reassurance.

She and her team maintained their position, watching the exchange. She watched his brother, watching the interaction with a painfully uncomfortable expression. Faulnak offered him no more greeting than a nod.

Faulnak turned away from his father to introduce his delegation, catching her eye as he did.

She looked away, studying the pitted black tarmac between her boots as the Commander spoke. She only dared to glance up when Faulnak made their introductions.

She met the Emperor’s gaze, forcing down the resentment and fear a lifetime on Kree-Lar had managed to instill in her. She kept her gaze cool as it slid across the Emperor’s delegation, nodding sharply in way of a greeting.

Sinara didn’t miss how the brother’s gaze lingered on her, intense and piercing, like he could see into her thoughts.

She didn’t like him one bit.

_______________

Sinara stood guard outside the Commander’s study while he talked with his family and the Security Council. Maston-Dar stood to her left, Hek-Sel stood opposite them watching the door face-on. The walls were soundproofed well, but not well enough to completely disguise the raised voices inside, even if all she could hear were garbled, distant sounds of an argument.

Finally, the door slammed open.

It had taken longer than she expected; she had expected Faulnak to come storming out, cursing, yelling, and throwing things before the hour was up. It was hardly an unprecedented assumption, she was on her third terminal this year alone from his antics.

But it was his brother, Kasius who stormed from the room. _No, not stormed_ , Sinara thought, noting his proud, calm demeanor, his tightly controlled movements the only sign of disquiet.

 _Stalked, then_.

The door swung shut behind him with a loud clang. He did not continue down the hallway, but rather turned and leaned against the wall, a few feet from her.

She did not allow herself to turn her head and flash him the curious glance even though some part of her was itching to. She didn’t want to be caught unawares when he broke, when the yelling and throwing started. He was Faulnak’s brother, and no matter how different they looked, they were the same monster, the monster she had to fight to survive.

But, again to her surprise, Kasius sighed and pushed himself off the wall, turning to look at her.

“What’s your name?” His voice had a light charisma that tempted her to feel reassured.

“Your brother introduced us, sir.” She replied, dodging the question instinctively.

“I do try not to listen to that idiot.”

“Sinara, sir.” She said tightly, flashing a look at Hek-Sel, who was pretending the exchange wasn’t happening; he and Maston always did.

“Sinara, who?” Kasius prompted, pulling her attention back to him.

“Just Sinara.”

“No surname?”

“Perhaps I’m like you, sir, only one name.” She regretted the moment of impertinence almost immediately.

Hek-Sel flashed her an incredulous look.

But Kasius laughed. “Clever, between the two of us, we’ll have a full name.”

Sinara rolled her eyes. “We’re practically soulmates.” She said flatly, fixing her eyes on a point on the opposite wall where two metal slats had been nailed together.

Kasius withered at the comment, falling back against the wall; the awkwardness of the gesture was palpable.

 _Good. I don’t need any more monsters_ , she thought.

____________

It was even hotter than the day before, but neither Faulnak nor Kasius seemed at all bothered by the heat. This was unsurprising, Hala’s warm climate made them more suited to Ceresian weather, but it was more than vaguely infuriating when they walked about unbothered, leaving the hard work to her.

Sinara knew better than to complain. Complaints were always met the same way, ‘be quiet’, ‘don’t be ungrateful’. Everyone knew where she came from, no family name to speak of, the ward of a childless man who needed someone to help out with work, someone who owed her life to the so-called kindnesses of society.

Not that she usually felt too much bitterness about it, but when she spent time around Halans, she certainly did.

Faulnak had been charged with showing his brother the city, and her team usually went where he did. So, there they were, walking through row after row of low stone buildings on the outskirts of the Ceres settlement, not far enough into the city to see any interesting architecture.

But, it was important that Kasius see the docks, even though, from what Sinara gathered, he was quite irrelevant to his older brother and father.

They went to the docks, and observed mechanisms used to bring in ships. The rows of long mechanical arms were used to stabilize transport ships with no landing gear. The arms were lined up along two platforms, each nearly two kilometers in length, on either side of a magnetic railway that held the ships up.

No transport ships were docked on Ceres now, their blockade had seen to that. The docks crowded with Astrans milling about aimlessly, and the mechanisms were unmoving.

Kasius was making vague remarks about the engineering design, how remarkable it was, asking when he could see it in action.

She tuned him out, turning her attention to the crowd. She noted those who were regarding them with hostility, and there were many of them. She didn’t speak much of the Astran language, and the Ceresian dialect was even more difficult to understand, but she was sure their murmuring was somewhere along the line of _‘it’s those Kree bastards, they ruin everything.’_

Well, the Astrans and Remorrath had bombed too many Kree cities to dust for her to feel too much sympathy.

“Sel, Scrappy.”

She turned toward the sound of Maston’s voice, too alarmed by the tension in it to spare a glare at the nickname.

She and Hek-Sel leaned in, following his line of sight to a small group of Astrans, no more than a dozen, clumped together, toting guns. The guns were small, the ones often used by protestors who wanted to do damage but rarely had the resources to do so.

“We should get them out of here.” Hek-Sel muttered, jerking his head towards Faulnak and Kasius, who were standing not far off, looking anywhere but at each other.

“ _Fuck_ , they saw us.” Maston cursed, already starting towards the brothers.

Sinara glanced back at the Astran rebels; they were drawing their guns.

Barely three seconds later the first shot rang out, followed by the enraged cries of dozens of Astrans scattered across the platform.

Sinara darted between Hek-Sel and Maston, letting them run the other way, into the frenzy. They’d worked together for long enough to know the drill, they covered her while she secured the Commander, and any other personnel. Their guns were more efficient in a crowd, her orbs better in a one-on-one battle.

Kasius was crouched, huddling near the ground when she reached them, wincing with every shot that rang out. Faulnak had drawn his own pistol and shot three nearby protesters in quick succession. He could handle himself. If she didn’t know better, she’d say he enjoyed the opportunity for ‘crowd control’.

“We have to go, sir.” She said, her voice not wavering, he was familiar enough with the routine not to question her. She stooped, taking a fistful of the back of Kasius’s robes and pulling him upright, using her free hand to stop him from raising his head.

“Move,” she prompted.

He stumbled, too scared to move, so she plowed ahead, all but dragging him with her.

Sinara brought them into a nearby building, kicking down the door easily. It was a one room hut with a dirt floor, but the walls were made of sturdy, nearly bulletproof stone; the entire building had only three smallish windows. Three Astrans were huddled in the corner behind a table. A quick scan told her that they were unarmed and clearly terrified, it was unlikely they had any part in the protests.

So she elected to ignore them, instead directing Kasius and Faulnak to stand against the back wall, away from the windows and door. Sinara positioned herself a few feet in front of them where she could easily watch the windows and doors, ready if the rioters breached the room.

She had to call for reinforcements and a transport to bring the emperor’s sons back to the Dome safely. Behind her, Faulnak was on his own terminal, monitoring the situation through a surveillance feed and pointedly ignoring his terrified brother.

When Sinara had finished recording her transmission, she stowed her terminal in her pocket with nothing left to do but watch, wait, and listen to Kasius’s hyperventilating.

_Who brought this fucker here? He'd be more use dead, on Hala._

Sinara spared a glance at the Commander.

“You’re hurt, wh—” The idiot blurted, then bit back the rest of his comment, realizing he shouldn’t have said it. It was rude to point out such things, mocking the mistake she’d already made in getting injured.

Sinara brushed the insult aside— he was in no place to comment on her abilities as a soldier when he was as scared as he was during a relatively tame protest.

She glanced down at her left shoulder where her uniform had torn, revealing a shallow cut, grazed by a stray bullet, then. The abrasion barely stung or bled, it was so small that she guessed she might not have noticed it for some time. Had he not drawn attention to it, perhaps she would’ve noted the scar years later and not been able to point to how she’d gotten it.

It was as forgettable as Kasius was dramatic, and she shrugged it off. “It’s nothing.”

He opened his mouth to say more but was cut off by Faulnak.

“Silence, I’ll not have you insulting me as well.”

Something inside her laughed bitterly; an insult to her was one to him instead, _shudder to think, she was an individual._

“I am not insulting you or anyone else. I am merely concerned for your injured soldier, you absolute f—” Kasius caught himself. “That would’ve been an insult.”

She found herself having to suppress a laugh at their bickering, their ability to turn everything into a power play.

The thrill of fear came before she understood fully that someone had touched her arm. Not pausing to identify them, fueled by some wild, subconscious response; she whirled around, grabbing the hand, pulling her assailant against her. She slammed the heel of her free hand into the underside of her assailant’s chin, forcing his head backwards.

“Get _the fuck_ off me.” She snapped, not entirely feeling like herself, her lips and limbs moving of their own accord, against her better judgement.

Faulnak was laughing, a cold, mocking sound, at his brother’s misfortune. Yet, she couldn’t escape a reprimand that easily. “Release him, Sinara. It seems you’ve much to learn about respecting your superiors. We’ll discuss it tonight, my quarters.”

Sinara loosened her grip on Kasius, allowing him to slip free. He was staring back and forth between the two of them. He wore a strange expression, a mixture of realization and abject horror apparent in his eyes and the tilt of his head. Finally, his gaze landed on her, softening slightly to a look she knew well, _pity._

He lifted his hands, in a gesture of surrender, or perhaps, acknowledgement of where he went wrong.

“I am sorry.”

_An apology, that was new._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!  
> ~sinara_smith


	4. The Plan

  _Year: 2048_

_Location: Ceres_

Sinara woke to the shrill beeping and frantic buzzing of her terminal and for at least the fourth time this week. She sat up, not without a short burst of grumbling and dusted her hands across the sofa cushions in search of the terminal.

She found it wedged between the cushion and the back of the sofa and pulled it free. Her eyes flickered first to the clock, it was nearly twenty-one-hundred hours, last she checked it had been seventeen hundred hours. Damn it.

At last, she turned her attention to the primary display, an incoming called from Maston-Dar. She answered.

“Yes?”

“Where the hell are you?”

“I was asleep.” She began to wonder what she’d forgotten about but found it hard to be too broken up about it.

“Well, come upstairs, Commander’s apartments.”

“Why?” Suspicion began creeping in from the corners of her mind. His brother has sent her away to rest after her ‘injury’, whatever they needed now probably wouldn’t be good news.

“Why? Because there’s work to be done, perhaps you hadn’t noticed, but, there’s a war, and this outpost is slipping out of our control.”

“The riots?”

“Still ongoing. Are you coming?”

“Give me three minutes.” She set the terminal aside and stood, leaving it to Maston to end the call.

Sinara shrugged on her jacket, zipping it to her collarbone, put on and laced her boots. Her hair was undone so she could only hope there wouldn’t be fighting. She headed out the door still the smoothing flyaway hairs out of her face.

She called the elevator platform to the eleventh level, and took it to the fifteenth, then used the bridge connecting the two sides of the Dome. The Commander, his family, and his domestic staff occupied one side of the fifteenth level, tucked well away from the rabble of the central corridor. The glass floor of the bridge was dizzying so many stories up, Sinara had learned long ago that it was best not to look anywhere but straight ahead.

The guard at the security checkpoint threw her a concerned look as she checked into the facility, but said nothing, like most of them, did. She had no interest in his, or Sata’s or Kasius’s concerns, it wasn’t as though any of them were brave enough to act. And in the end, that’s all that was worth anything.

 

____________

 

 

Only Hek-Sel and Maston were in the conference room when she arrived. Hek-Sel was standing in his appointed place while Maston had commandeered the Commander’s seat at the head of the table.

“Happy you could join us.” Hek-Sel greeted, his tone making his disapproval abundantly clear.

She ignored him. “What’s wrong?”

“The Emperor wants this war over, he wants his planet back.”

“He’s not going to win any wars if he doesn’t let his officers sleep,” Maston grumbled, absentmindedly dragging his terminal across the surface of the table and twisting in his chair.

The doors parting and retracted into the wall and Faulnak, Kasius, and Taryan filed into the room.

Maston shot out of Faulnak’s seat and scurried over to join Hek-Sel near the wall. Rather than a scolding, the action was met only with an amused look from Faulnak.

Sinara fought off the urge to roll her eyes at the pair of them, distracting herself by joining Hek-Sel at their place against the wall, facing the wall terminal currently projecting a blank screen. She kept her eyes trained on the floor until the others assumed their positions and began speaking. Taryan, Faulnak, and Kasius all wore identical formal uniforms, stiff, fitted formal jackets, and trousers, black embroidered with gold and silver. Taryan’s had a collection of shining, colorful pins on the chest, Faulnak had a few, Kasius had none.

The three of them sat around the table, enough empty chairs between each of them to sit ten more people. The screen flickered on to display a map of the Astran settlement on the primary partition, side partition showed newsfeeds, the communication system, and maps of various star systems.

“Please, sit,” Kasius called, waving towards her and her team.

“No, Kasius, they’re the guard, since we haven’t found anyone to assign to you permanently yet. They stand.”

“They should still sit, it’s late, and they were fighting today, for our protection! Frankly, I’m appalled that you’ve ordered your injured to be up and about.” His eyes flicked over towards where she stood, she let hers fall to the floor, staring a hole in the glossy silver floor.

“Quiet, Kasius, you’re hardly an expert on such matters.”

“I’m a doctor!”

“Of genetics, who time and time again insisted his so-called work wasn’t applicable to our medical corps. Now, Father, you had an idea you wished to run by us.”

The Emperor clearly had very little interest in being in the room and seemed surprised that Faulnak had addressed him at all. “Yes, I trust your trip to the docks provided valuable insight into the importance of our work here.”

His sons nodded in unison, a fact which seemed to bother Faulnak when he realized it.

“We control the Astrans access to food, and the raw materials they’ve scavenged from this planet. Unfortunately, you may have noticed some unrest about this course of action among the natives.”

“Father, I propose we rid ourselves of the docks, they’re more trouble than they’re worth in the war. It’s not as though we’re using them and it would be a demonstration to the Astran-Remorrath Coalition, that—”

“An interesting proposition.” Taryan cut Faulnak off with a wave of his hands, needing no further information. “I’m inclined towards it, a fresh start for our colony here, no Astran industries, or Astrans.”

Nothing new, after all, it was what they did on Kree-Lar before, installed their people, destroying all its ancient foundations. It was what conquerors did. And she supposed she knew enough from her years on Kree-Lar to understand that conquerors were often wrong.

But, it wasn’t her place to have other ideas, so she followed her team’s lead, nodding in agreement in the background.

Taryan flashed them an approving look. “Good, it seems like that settles that. We’ll make a show of Ceres, of its docks and its people. The Coalition will understand them, that were are not ones to be challenged. When our forces move on their Astran base, none will stand in our way. Particularly since without Ceres, the Astrans have no livelihood.”

“Sir, while this base is beneficial with its proximity to our enemies and suitability to our physiology, we’re not preventing the Astrans livelihood. The Remorrath know no home planet and are resourceful in accessing what they and their allies need. I fear that the long-term effects of destroying the architecture would be detrimental to o—”

Sinara couldn’t deny that the speech, long-winded and convoluted as it was, was intriguing. Bizarre, even. A proposal of this sort had never been made in any council she attended. The kind of thing that betrayed a weakness that was unwelcome in these circumstances. Whatever it was that made him prone to inaction, sympathy, or naivete, he was easy to manipulate for it. Those who were easily influenced spelled death for the rest of them.

“Silence, Kasius. We’ve made our decision.”

“We shouldn’t destroy the docks, we should hold them in exchange for when peace negotiations come around. The Astrans will give us something substantial to not lose face on this outpost.”

“Silence. Your plan is naive, the situation on Ceres requires immediate action, or were you not at the protest today?” There was venom in Faulnak’s voice, but for once she didn’t want to cower in the corner at the sound.

She didn’t even look at him. She knew she was staring at his brother, but she didn’t know quite how to look away. With the proper influences, Kasius was more an opportunity than a risk. The thought was crawling around in the back of her mind, forcing its way to the front in a blinding moment of clarity.

_Oh, there you are._

“Dismissed. All of you. Sinara, I’ll see you in my chambers in half-an-hour, we have the matter from earlier too,” Faulnak hesitated, glancing between her and his brother almost as though he knew the idea in her mind. “Discuss.”

The usual sickening feeling in her stomach accompanying those words was nowhere to be found, she had a new plan now.

__________

 

Sinara had washed up and changed into the nightclothes and a robe given to her by one of Faulnak’s Ceresian servants. They were blue silk, a few shades darker than her skin and were probably some of the most expensive things she’d ever touched, fresh off the transport from Hala.  She stood waiting in the Commander’s parlor, turning her orbs over and over in the pocket of her trousers. The gesture was oddly meditative, the gentle clicking and scraping of metal against metal distracting her from other thoughts.

Through the window, she could see the terraced pathway beyond, where Faulnak’s brother was pacing, crossing in front of the room once a minute or so.

Her mind gave her the vivid image of his horrified expression from when they were hiding in the hut near the docks. Horrified at his brother, perhaps, or at her own heartlessness and manipulation.

She closed the curtains and turned around, just in time to see Faulnak round the corner into the room.

Sinara forced herself to breathe evenly, putting at bay the annoying flickers of fear. He wouldn’t tolerate a disagreement from her, but there was no need for things to end in an uncivil manner if she was careful.

“It’s not going to work,” Sinara said, not waiting for his acknowledgment of her presence.

“Excuse me?”

“As your advisor, sir, and confidante, if I may—”

“No.”

Just as well. “I was hired to protect you and advise you.”

“Now is hardly the time, Sinara.” Faulnak sat on the sofa, looking anywhere but at her face.

“If you anger their people, the Astrans will not stop. Control the docks, and we have leverage.”

“You sound like my gutless brother, what’s gotten into you?” Faulnak pushed himself off the sofa, having sat there for barely a moment and crossed halfway to her. Every muscle in his body tense, radiating fury, color rising to his face.

The sight nearly had her losing her nerve, so she squared her shoulders and met his gaze like nothing was wrong. I do what needs to be done.

“Sir,

“We win, we destroy our enemies, we don’t leave anything for them in the aftermath, you know how this goes. I thought you’d successfully completed your history course at the Institute.”

“Yes. ”

Faulnak grabbed her arm, fingers digging into her flesh, and yanked her towards him. “I told you we’re doing Sinara, I suggest you stay in your own path.”

“I’m well within it, consider your brother’s—”

Faulnak scoffed and released her arm. She stumbled backward at the force of the motion.

“That’s it then, ready to jump ship the moment another shows you kindness.” He stalked towards her, circling around her when she refused to take a step back. “You can’t change your kind, weak, desperate. What a pity, after all, I’ve done for you.”

“You ask too much of me.” She turned on her heel to face him. “I won’t support this.”

Faulnak laughed, humorlessly. “I’m sure you think so, but you will. Someone like you, heartless, calculating, you know what the stakes are, and you’re not going to lose.”

He was breathing down her neck, standing too close behind her, his hands coming to rest on her shoulders. Her heart was pounding in her chest as she inched her hand out of her pocket, the cold steel of her orbs felt like it was burning against her palm.

“You want to give up your position, your team, your quarters, to agree with a disgraced man. No, you don’t. So, shut up and keep your mind games to yourself.” His hand traced down her back, pulling at the sash of her robe.

Something snapped inside her, and overwhelming anger bubbled up in her head and her chest. Any thoughts of a civil exchange flew from her mind.

Sinara caught it with his free hand and twisted. She felt the familiar twinge in her skull, behind her left ear as she allowed the orbs to fly loose, floating over her hand as she spun. “Leave me alone!”

 

Faulnak’s eyes widened, focusing on the orbs, for a moment he was still but for his eyes tracking the orbs’ path through the air.

 

He’s terrified. The realization made Sinara feel power like she never had like she was standing high above him and so far out of his reach; someplace safe where she had control.

 

“What good will this do you? You’ll not be alright without my protection, I can promise you that. You’re a fool if you think my brother is the better option.” He reached up with his free hand as he spoke, hand bunching in the fabric of her robe. He used the grip to drag her closer to him and weaken her grip on his wrist. His breath was hot against her face, but her mind remained clear of the panic that had been accompanying that sensation lately.

 

She was no smaller than moments before, and no less in control. She was still winning this fight.

 

She released his wrist and shoved him backward, sending him stumbling across the open floor. He barely regained his footing before running into a desk.

 

"What did you do when I was shot today?" She spoke as loud as she ever had to him, nearly surprising herself at the feeling behind her own words. It wasn’t something she had planning on saying, or even realized she was angry about.

 

Faulnak scoffed at that. "And here I was, hoping you might yet prove me wrong about your kind. You will cease and desist, Sinara, and you will do so now, or," he began advancing towards her again, his voice gaining confidence despite the fear in his eyes as he beheld the orbs still hovering at the ready about her hands. "Or you'll lose everything."

 

“You would look weak if it came out that you were how I succeeded. The most you could do is transfer me to new quarters without suspicion."

 

Faulnak made a noise of frustration, low and feral in his throat, and lunged at her. "Then I--"

 

_That’s quite enough from you._

 

She sent the orbs at him, hitting him in the shoulder and the back of the head, the dull thuds coming in quick succession, followed by the louder noise of him collapsing to the floor. The blows were not hard enough to do severe damage, but the temporary incapacitation would give her time to leave.

 

With her gone, he was left with very few options on how to handle the falling out and his reputation.

 

She stepped over his unconscious form and pressed the access panel beside the door. The two panels of the door retracted into the wall, and she stepped through onto the terraced walkway beyond.

 

She met no one on the walkway this late at night, which was just as well because with her still-damp hair, expensive pajamas, and advanced weaponry, she cut quite a suspicious figure.

 

Her heart beat furiously as she strode down the walkway, the thrill of power still lingering in her mind. The remnants of all the controls Faulnak had held over her lifting away in an instant, and now he was the one in the trap.

____________

 

The next morning when she awoke, the power in her quarters had been shut off. The water rations in her quarters had been drained, and she could no longer access to her apartment’s wall terminal. She must have slept late without its alarm to wake her for training because she felt the grogginess and confusion that came with changing her strict routine.

She did, however, have a handful of messages waiting on her hand terminal courtesy of Hek-Sel and Maston-Dar.

_0800  Hours_

 

_HS:  Where are you?_

_HS: You’re late._

_MD:  The Commander murdered her._

_HS: Again, it’s very easy to just tell me that._

_MD: Where are you?_

_0815 Hours_

_MD:  Sinara, what the hell did you do?_

 

She swiped out of the instant communication partition and into her messages partition where a file from one of the generals was waiting. The file was titled merely:  Transfer Orders.

 

Number: 40-256-5

_New Quarters Assigned: F03-4561_

_New Duties Assigned: First Lieutenant assisting his highness, Prince Kasius._

 

Sinara smiled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!
> 
> ~sinara_smith


	5. The Meet

 

 

_Year: 2048_

_Location: Ceres_

 

Sinara needed to update her equipment for her new post. Her terminal would require recoding, and her weapons belt would need to be updated to Kasius’s specifications. She wasn’t sure what the specifications entailed, but from what she knew about the man, she doubted she’d be happier with the upgrade.

Still, she could make-do, Kasius couldn’t very well remove the thing embedded in her brain that gave her best weapon.

The supply station closest to her new quarters were located in the back of Mess Hall #3, usually dedicated to the lower-ranking soldiers who had few years of service to speak of who occupied this sector of the Dome. She frequented Mess Hall #3 with her team, after all, it was where she should’ve been according to her years of service.

Still, she felt exposed.

It wasn’t as though anyone could tell there was a difference, she kept her rank, her uniform, her authority over the rest of the rabble in here. All she’d been dealt was a less desirable post and living space, something that could easily have been passed off as a necessity due to the influx of refugees from Hala. Inexplicably, it was a bit humiliating.

She cut through the throng of soldiers in line for breakfast easily, they knew to move aside for a lieutenant’s uniform and made her way back towards the Supply Station. Thankfully, there was no line at outside the Station, but, unfortunately, her team was there waiting for her.

Maston-Dar and Hek-Sel were there waiting for her on a bench beside the Station’s window. She walked past them and slid her equipment over the counter to the attendant.

The attendant asked for her new commander’s identification number.

“Three.”

The attendant’s eyes widened at her, but he didn’t question it, turning instead to input the code into the computer to check the specifications.

“Ten minutes.” He took her equipment to his side of the counter and set to work.

She stepped away from the counter, intending to walk away from Maston and Hek-Sel, only to find them standing right in front of her. They stood shoulder-to-shoulder forming a barrier that she could not easily dodge.

“What did you do?” Hek-Sel said without preamble.

“Move.”

“We have to work with that idiot, Vargas, reassigned from the Qol General’s guard. Where did you get moved?”

“His brother’s guard,” Sinara replied, knowing it wouldn’t end the conversation, but nevertheless hoping that it would.

_“What?”_

_“How?_ ” They spoke in unison, in identical tones of complete horror.

“Wanted a change of scene.”

“Away from the top of the ladder?” Maston continued to speak, while Hek-Sel just looked on in incredulous confusion.

Sinara shrugged. “You’re the middle at most. I’ll move up now.”

“You’re delusional, Scrappy, just let me talk to the Commander today, we can smooth it over, no one has to deal with idiots…” Hek-Sel caught her arm, taking on a tone of concern.

Sinara nearly laughed at that. “You’re not thinking hard enough.”

She stepped around them, moving towards the wall where she intended to wait for her terminal and equipment. “Good luck with Vargas.”

 

________

 

Kasius’s apartments were an extension of Faulnak’s, which might’ve been an intimidating but for the fact that Faulnak certainly wouldn’t be up for another hour. It wasn’t as though she’d washed her hands of the whole mess, she’d have to face him again at some point, likely at some point before the day was out. It would be some time longer until she could be rid of him altogether, _in the meantime, this is better._

She relieved Kasius’s night guard and assumed his place, sitting on a bench in the entryway. The quarters themselves were more-or-less identical to Faulnak’s,  the floor was hardwood, the furniture was black with accents of white and gold. Level fifteen was reminiscent of the Headquarters on Kree-Lar, elegant and shining and expensive-looking.

Though here the smooth metal walls were disguised by silks and woven tapestries and there was a carpet that covered most of the floor that had muffled the sound of her footsteps when she entered. It was this carpet that occupied her attention with it’s dark red and blue, and gold patterns weaving together a tessellation of flowers and leaves that spanned the room. By her count, she spent five minutes marveling over the thing before forcing herself to look away.

It wouldn’t do for her to seem unaccustomed and unprepared to be an observer to whatever affluent imprudence this man did with his life.

The door behind her opened.

“Ah, it seems my brother cares for my safety more than I thought, or your meeting didn’t go well for you last night.”

Sinara stood at attention as he circled in front of her, the gesture all too familiar and uncomfortable. She wished he would look away from her.

And, as if he could hear her thoughts, he did, his eyes turned downwards to the carpet beneath his feet.

“I was assigned to be your personal guard. I’m Sinara.” She held out a hand to him, the formal gesture of greeting for a superior.

“I,” Kasius hesitated as though confused. “I know you already. We’ve met, have we not?”

Sinara didn’t respond, she’d certainly given him enough reason to remember her name during the riot, so she shouldn’t be surprised he remembered her. Though it was hardly the image she wanted him to have of her so, she simply extended her arm a bit more obviously.

Still, he hesitated. “Is it alright, if I,” Finally he lifted his own arm halfway to hers. “If I touch your hand?”

She suppressed an eye roll and a bolt of astonishment at the question and nodded sharply.

And, he did, shaking her hand twice as was custom before drawing away. His touch wasn’t electrifying, or terrifying, or horribly foreign; it was warm in a way that lingered long after the contact was gone.

“Please, come inside. Was the Supply Station all right? I didn’t request anything but changes to the terminal to make it easier for us to be in touch, I hope you don’t mind.”

She followed him into his quarters, vaguely wondering if his babbling even required a response.

The first room was a general sitting area, Kasius paused here and turned back to her. He wasn’t talking but seemed on the edge of bursting out with a million different things to say. He was incredibly energetic from his hesitant smile, the tension in his shoulders, sudden movements, and how quickly he was blinking. She was beginning to wonder if she was scaring him.

When the babbling started, she was sure he was terrified. He explained to her, in a series of short words and awkward laughter that this room was the sitting room and the place where he would receive visitors— ‘if any would venture to such a wretched place’ as he said.

She hadn’t previously thought of Ceres as a wretched place, but she’d seen pictures of Hala before, and its beauty was unmatched. Not that anyone she’d ever met had ever spoken of such nonsense before today.

Planets were good, for resources and for being close to one’s enemies; if the prince did not realize such realities, it was all the better for her.

“You’re from Kree-Lar?” He said finally, directing the chatter her way as though beginning to notice how one-sided his conversation was.

“Yes, sir.”

“Fascinating, you must tell me what that’s like, I’ve never had the chance to go myself with my schooling and studies on Hala. And Faulnak can’t really be trusted with such things, he has no eye for such things. Do you know how breathable air is produced there without any vegetation…” Kasius trailed off, listing different possible technologies that meant nothing to her.

He continued as he ushered her through a short hallway, pointing out the wash-room, which she was apparently welcome to use if she needed it. An interesting change from Faulnak, who never let her use the bathroom attached to his bedroom.

Most of the instructions were similar to Faulnak’s, so she tuned him out, any glaring mistakes could be chalked up to her habitual nature.

They moved on to the study, compulsively organized space with large windows that overlooked the rest of the Dome. It was the sort of clean that almost forbade touching and disrupting of the things in the room, yet Kasius moved through it with confidence, explaining his communications system with the same nervous speech pattern from before. One would figure he had a bit more confidence given how he spoke to his father the night before, but that didn’t seem the case.

“Sorry,” She looked up as he interrupted his own rambling.

“Sorry, its just that I’ve been hoping to get a chance to ask,” He repeated. “What are those?” He was indicating the orbs in her hand.

“Weapons. Do you want a demonstration?”

“By all means.”

So she opened her palm, feeling the twinge behind her ear as she willed them into the air. As a young child, she used to pull a face at such things, and not so long before that, she would scream and cry at the suggestion of the feeling. Her training at the Institute hadn’t allowed for such foolishness.

Kasius watched as though it was the most miraculous thing he’d ever seen. “How can you do that?”

With her free hand, she tapped the point on her skull approximating where the chip was. “I was a lab rat on Kree-Lar, there’s a chip in my brain.”

“You were the successful test of the neurological weapons prototype?” He was impressed. “That’s incredible.”

 _Try painful and horrific, moron_. She corrected internally. It was good that he found her impressive and admirable, it would make her work more manageable.

She nodded.

He continued talking about neurobiology, in terms that flew right over her head.

She tuned him out, again.

 

____________

 

Kasius’s second and only other task for the day was leaving the Dome to wander the city, he expressed his hope that it would be helpful in deciding an alternate plan for his father.

Sinara wasn’t aware that such plans were still up for debate, but without her even asking Kasius answered her question. His father cared very little about the war, he had only desired the conflict when he hoped it would bring him the ‘Destroyer of Worlds.’  But Taryan’s say was final, if he could shout Faulnak down, it wouldn’t be hard to get the Emperor on his side.

And Kasius wanted to see the docks again while he worked on his plan.

Sinara couldn’t question his every move, not when she needed his trust, not even if the risk of unrest in the city was as high as it had ever been. At least it wasn’t hot, despite the mid-afternoon sun, and rain the night before had helped reduce the allergens drifting about in the air.

They made their way towards the docks, along the river that wound past the Dome and lead towards the center of the Ceres colony. Sinara admired the way the sun danced across the water and the water slid over the rocks, bouncing the light off its surface and babbling quietly.

It was nearly pleasant.

Kasius talked mostly of things she couldn’t hope to understand. The biology of the plants, mostly, describing lengthy, complicated processes that she found herself wanting to understand as he spoke. The subject seemed to be one of the only things he was comfortable talking about, the nervous laughter fading away as he rambled on.

She had never been to school; they taught her to read because she’d need it to operate her terminal, basic mechanical procedures and medical procedures that would be useful in the field. She knew how to fly a spaceship, how to survive, how to fight, and hundreds of ways to kill and win. She knew little about plants and stars and the rest of the things Kasius spoke so eloquently about.

She just hoped he didn’t want her opinion on any of it. All she had to offer was that she was extremely allergic to them.

“Tell me again, what is it you did to get stuck with this assignment?” He said finally tiring of talking to himself.

“Commander Faulnak was looking for someone, he chose me. Perhaps I am the most disposable to him.”

“Nonsense, my brother would be in no hurry to lose such a skilled fighter.”

This was her test, undoubtedly, he wanted to know if she was a spy for his brother, if her reason for being at his side was sound. But he was too trusting, an optimist at heart, it was a test that would be easy to pass.

“How do you know I’m good?” The question was out before she had time to consider if she should challenge the interrogation.

“Because you endured the experiments on Kree-Lar, I read extensively on the project, only the strongest of all our people could survive such things.”

 _Flattery_. He was as cut out for politics as the rest of his lot, she supposed, if not with a bit more of a head on his shoulders.

“I don’t agree with his ideas for Ceres. The Commander doesn’t surround himself with those who don’t support him.” _A bit of truth, then_. Why she had picked that moment to disagree was none of Kasius’s concern anyways.

“You’d be right not to agree with him, though I do find you somewhat surprising, Faulnak seemed fond of you.”

She stopped. They had reached the unmanned entrance to the docking area, marked by a small booth that lay between two tall fences to restrict access.

She threw Kasius a questioning expression, well-practiced after several years with the Commander who far preferred silence to chatter.

“I have a thought of what to do with these.” Kasius began, not making a move towards the entrance to the docking area. He seemed content to lean against the gate, hands clasped around the bars, head tilted back to see the docking arms high above them in the sky.

“Docks are a promise, of connection other places, a place to leave from and a place to go towards. The endpoints of a thread connecting all intelligent life. ”

_How incredibly unnecessary._

“Faulnak wishes to destroy these opportunities, but I see them for what they are. Things we can use to end this war and later for our own gain. All we need to do is find a way that they can help us win.”

Kasius pushed off the fence, pacing past her, across the grass, turning on his heel and pacing back just as she began to walk after him. He repeated the jaunt, over and over, his pace quickening as he continued to walk, for nearly five minutes.

She stood, and waited, and stared. Kasius moved so differently than Faulnak, his arms swinging and his head dipped slightly, but with purpose and authority. As she watched, the thoughts of looking for signs of a fit of anger faded from her mind, replaced with vague curiosity. The makeup he wore on his cheeks and around his eyes glittered in the afternoon sun, in a way that was oddly transfixing. His face betrayed no signs of disquiet in his life, unmarked by scars, or sun, or fatigue.

He looked up so suddenly, turning to cross to her in such a sharp movement that she could barely suppress a flinch away from him.

“If we restart Astran trade in and out of Ceres under our own control, we’ll have an in with Remorrath intelligence. They are the most well-known traders in the galaxy, they’ll never do business with the likes of us. But their customers and vendors must. With their information, we’ll be much more effective. We would then be able to run targeted strikes on known Remorrath and Astran suppliers and bring their alliance to its knees.”

Sinara listened, a thought already making its way to the forefront of her mind, _what the hell is wrong with you?_

“The added bonus would be deciding between keeping the docks or bargaining them away in negotiations.” It sounded more like an afterthought to Kasius’s main plan, but he still sounded quite pleased with himself. “What do you think?”

No one had ever asked her for input before, and she felt her eyes widen instinctively at the question.

“Good.”

“Good?” He asked like her input was of vital importance to the plan.

She nodded, too distracted by the thought still bouncing about in her head, unsettled and half-formed. A vague recognition of how wrong she’d been to assume that Kasius was someone sympathetic or easy to control. He was not someone who could be manipulated by a good heart, she might have more luck trying that card with his father. Which isn’t to say she’d have much success.

He was no Faulnak yet he was cunning, ambitious and competitive, and she never wanted to leave his side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update, we had family in town for the holiday and it made it a little hard to juggle writing too! 
> 
> Thank you for reading!  
> ~sinara_smith


	6. The Raid

  _Year: 2048_

_Location: Ceres_

Training began at four hundred hours sharp every morning, and Sinara was already running late. She’d gotten little sleep in her new quarters; evidently, every resident of levels three through six had decided to spend the night making as much noise as possible. So, not only was she running late, but she was in an unusually foul mood.

No one liked morning training. The twenty lieutenants stationed on Ceres were shut away in a training facility for nearly two hours to work on their own training. Later, they would be split up and assigned a regiment of foot soldiers to take through their morning drills.

But it always started the same way; the twenty of them in a room, at least half of them hungover, grumbling about having to train. The grumbling stopped pretty much the moment that she stepped into the gym.

“Get on with it.” She waved her hand back towards the sparring mats and equipment. There was no need for the third degree.

After a moment, most obeyed, Sata, Hek-Sel, Maston-Dar, and her replacement, Vargas did not. However, she was simply instructed to train with them for the session, there were no questions, even if their glances spoke volumes about what they thought of her.

She ignored it and went along with the beginning stretches. It was none of their concern, it wasn’t like her reassignment had significant ramifications for the group.

Eventually, stretches moved into sparring exercises; Sinara was paired with Vargas, who was exceedingly incompetent. She had him pinned to the mat within thirty seconds, six rounds in a row without exerting herself too much. When they paused to reshuffle opponents, Vargas was gasping, and out of breath so laboriously, it couldn’t have all been due to the choke-hold she had him in during round four.

The next round she was paired with Hek-Sel, who was tall and broad and comfortable to defeat. He could never move as quickly as she could. Nevertheless, he made it three minutes before tapping out.

Sata was the best of them; it took her four and a half minutes to best her, she might have been a member of a wealthy family, but she certainly didn’t take it as an opportunity to slack off.

“I can’t imagine what Faulnak was thinking.” Sata managed between gasped breaths. “Letting a warrior like you go to his hapless brother like that.”

“What do you do all day with that bastard? Look at plants?” Vargas called, his jovial tone undercut with aggression towards Kasius.

“Watch him lie about for hours on end?” Hek-Sel’s comment was unexpected, an almost timidly thrown insult.

Sinara shrugged and helped Sata off the mat. “He is not so bad.”

Sata looked shocked. “That shameful stain upon our history is not so bad?”

“None of that matters to her.” Maston chimed in, a grin on his face.

Sinara knew he’d long been pursuing Sata only to be met with constant rejection, she wanted to roll her eyes at its continuation.

“Scrappy here is more into opportunity, or so she says.” Maston put a finger under her chin, using his finger to trace the scar there. “The only opportunity with ‘Disgrace’ Kasius is that face.”

The other lieutenants hooted at the suggestion. Sinara slapped Maston’s hand off of her.

“Screw off.”

The others only continued hooting and mumbling amongst themselves about the meaning of too many protestations.

Mercifully, when the next drill was assigned, the topic was dropped for good.

 

_____________

 

As he told her later, Kasius had been up for three hours by the time she reached his quarters and was pestering the night guards to let him out when she arrived.

It was early yet, not even eight hundred hours.

“Finally,”  said, catching sight of her.

She wasn’t late, she was in fact early for her duties, but she supposed all nobility just expected her to have an innate knowledge of their varying demands.

She inclined her head in acknowledgment. “Apologies, sir.”

Kasius waved off the apology and dismissed his night guard. He retreated into his quarters, and the door fell shut behind him, leaving her to assume he wanted to be followed.

Kasius made it all the way to his study before she caught up to him. He was moving about the space in a sort of frenzy, flitting between various different monitors in the room.

She was beginning to consider asking what the matter was when he started speaking. And quickly enough that she had to struggle to understand the gist of his words. He had a meeting, it was imperative, it was with one of his father’s generals, and it was integral to his plan.

“Calm down.” She said, as he finished speaking and made for the door. “You’re not doing yourself any favors.”

She regretted it with the irritated look he threw her way. _Idiot, he’s a superior officer._ After yesterday, she should have known better than to treat him like like the fool he was acting. The part of her brain that was an idiot told her to apologize for being presumptuous, but she shouldn’t speak out of turn.

Sinara followed him into the hallway, through the sitting room and atrium and out into the Dome beyond. When they were on the elevating platform, Kasius began speaking again.

“You’re right, of course, they’ll not take me seriously if I don’t speak with certainty. I know Val, from the institute where I studied on Hala. They’re in charge of the medical corps here on Ceres, so their recommendations carry weight.”

“Where to, sir?” Sinara made no comment on the other ramblings.

“We’re to meet in the city at a restaurant establishment, I thought it would be good to meet under the radar.”

He seemed so hopeful about the meeting; Sinara almost didn’t have the heart to tell him that the entire settlement was bugged, almost. She did refrain from reprimanding him on arranging to leave the compound yet again.

Kasius shook his head. “Not here, I made sure of it. You truly think I am some great fool, do you? I suppose we have Faulnak to blame for that.”

“You’ve proved me the fool, so far.” Sinara ventured, hoping to mend fences, pull herself out of the mess of missteps she’d made so far.

Fortunately, the flattery worked decently well. Kasius flashed her a small smile and allowed her to lead him to their pinnace, and pilot them to the destination.

Flying above the Ceresian landscape was exhilarating, watching the tall trees rush along beneath them and the blue sky coming forward to meet them. There was no sight like it on Kree-Lar or in the black expanse they’d traveled to come here. The journey passed quickly with comfortable silence filling the pinnace, and the touchdown in the center of the settlement came far too soon.

She landed the ship carefully between two buildings for an easy getaway if anything were to happen. A feat, which seemed to impress her commander who clung to his seat for dear life the whole time she was maneuvering the vehicle, only stopping when it was safely on the ground.

She leaped out and circled the pinnace until she reached the passenger door.

“You’re quite a skilled pilot,” Kasius noted, as she lifted the side door to let him out. “Sorry, could I get a hand for balance?”

She offered one, which he eyed for a moment, perhaps wondering if she’d hit him again for taking it.

“You’re sure?”

She held her hand out further in the way of answering, and Kasius took it, swinging himself gracefully to the ground, and kicking up a small cloud of dust at their feet.

He immediately set out to the other side of the building, approaching the entrance to the restaurant. Sinara followed suit, sweeping her eyes across their surrounding area for any signs of danger, vaguely wishing she’d made Kasius wear a hood to conceal his status.

The inside of the establishment was dark, even in the early morning light and already crammed to capacity. At least fifty pairs of red eyes and green faces turned to stare at them when they entered. Kasius shed his cloak and handed it to a terrified attendant who scurried to the back of the room and hastily began clearing the table.

Within a minute, Kasius was seated at the table, and she was stationed behind him, watching the other patrons try and be discreet in watching her.

They didn’t have to wait too long for General Val to make an appearance, sweeping through the door and handing their cloak to the attendant, and drawing the room’s attention away from them. Val swept across the restaurant not waiting for the attendant to return and threw themselves into the chair across the table.

Sinara knew Val, they’d visited her base Kree-Lar once, to great celebration from her superiors. Val was from a wealthy Halan family, and served as the Emperor’s advisor and head of the medical corps. The General was tall and androgynous with long hair falling loose over their shoulders, and robes and makeup vibrant enough to put Kasius to shame.

Sinara wasn’t surprised that they found enough common ground to forge agreements on.

“Kasius”

“Val, how have you been?”

“As well as can be expected living in this hell-scape.”

Kasius let out a peal of laughter as though Val had said something particularly witty. “Yes, it’s not much compared to the sights of Hala, is it? Well, I suppose Hala looks different than you remember it after the Incident.”

“Such a pity, the whole city in ruins, the rest of the planet nearly defenseless. It’s a small blessing that your family managed to escape.”

“Yes, we were among the fortunate, have you any word of your family in Vel?”

“They’re fine. Thank you for your concern.”

Then, Val asked a question about Kasius’s research that Sinara couldn’t hope to understand and the conversation got away from her. The pair continued to speak with increasing enthusiasm on his research, as far as Sinara could gather, genetic experimentation of some sort.

She hated it. She hated not understanding, she hated the confidence with which they spoke on such matters. She hated feeling less than, it a constant reminder that she would never be considered by Kasius’s and Faulnak’s kind.

Sinara didn’t feel sorry, she was high above her peers on Kree-Lar, but she knew that everything she did was futile to her superiors.

The restaurant patrons had fallen back into their conversations, and the scene seemed peaceful enough, and Kasius was saying something she finally understood…

“Val,” Kasius began, interrupting his friend’s tangent about some theory or another— they’d moved on to discussing improvements of quantum engines. “I trust you realize this isn’t a social visit.”

Val nodded, and a slight edge entered their voice. “I figured as much. We were hardly friends at the Institute.”

Kasius flushed. “Val, must you really hold that over my head forever? I must say I’d had a lot to drink, and it seemed a—”

Val flashed her a suspicious glance. “Careful, Kas’, we don’t want the help knowing all our secrets. You know how those types gossip.”

Kasius threw her a look, as though he’d forgotten she was there. Sinara fervently hoped he couldn’t discern how uncomfortable the exchange had become.

She was glad when he turned back to Val and changed the subject.

“You’re right,” Kasius said, lazily swirling his drink about in his glass. “We should get down to it. My father wants the docks destroyed,”

“Darling, that is a terrible idea.”

“Val, please, take this to heart. Defeat is infinitely more likely if we don’t have the docs.”

“No, no, please, go on. I agree with you. But I’m not sold on betraying your father.”

“These docks could lend a great service to our efforts. They certainly would prove useful in collecting information on the Remorrath’s activities.”

“I see your point there, but--”

“My father’s plan will have no effect beyond temporary waves of anger among Astrans. Forgettable as such things often are. With more information on the Remorrath, target strikes would have a far more devastating impact on the supplies available to our enemies.”

Val considered the thought for a long while, take several long sips of their drink, seemingly for dramatic effect.

Though, Kasius bought the General’s antic, eyes growing wider and wider in anticipation.

Sinara barely contained an eyeroll.

“Very well,” Val began, speaking deliberately. “I’ll vouch for your plan dur--”

The wall exploded behind her.

Sinara was thrown forward by the force of the explosion, staying on her feet just long enough to direct herself towards Kasius before collapsing on top of him. He hit the floor hard, cushioning her fall, she did her best to push his head down underneath her to shield him from the rubble raining down on them. For a few long moments, as the explosion ended and the dust settled, all she could think of was hoping against hope that the ceiling wouldn’t fall in.

Her back hurt like hell, it probably had chunks of rubble embedded in it. And the noise had done something to her ears, all sound seemed very far away, or like she was under water, and the ringing in her ears wouldn’t stop. Kasius was so still underneath her, she thought he may be dead from fright.

The thought spurred her into action, she raised her head to see the patrons of the restaurant scattering out of the doors and windows. The wall she’d been standing against was now open to the outside air, and beyond it, the smoking remains of their pinnace.

_Shit._

She rolled off Kasius, and sat up, pulling him with her as she did. He was conscious but wide-eyed and breathless in terror. Blood trickled out of from underneath his hairline, but a brief inspection revealed only a shallow cut a few inches behind his right temple.

_Those fucking rebels._

She spared a glance to General Val, who was standing over them, already taking stock of the situation. Val’s forehead was marred by a new gash that was trickling blood into their eyes.

“Lieutenant,” they said. “My pinnace will do to transport the Prince back to the Dome, we should go.”

Sinara struggled to her feet with Kasius’s arm over her shoulder. The man rose to his feet automatically, his knees barely supporting his own weight, his feet moving clumsily of their own accord as she pulled him through the hole left by the explosion.

Strangely, they moved across the street unopposed, no one was standing by hurling insults or rocks as they tried to make their escape. Sinara told General Val so, but they saw no cause for concern.

“No one wants to be around while explosions are going off.”

“Right.”

Kasius was heavy, and his unwillingness to move slowed their progress significantly. Val made no move to help her.

Val’s pinnace was on the stretch of grass beyond the next row of buildings, alongside a couple other Kree issue vehicles; the patrolmen’s transports. There was something in the grass, just beyond the last patrolmen’s car, something moving that sent ripples through the field.

“Get him in.” Sinara shrugged Kasius’s arm off her, settling his weight on Val’s shoulders before starting off towards the source.

A Remorrath soldier, an ally to the Astrans, was crouched facing away from her.

Remorrath were the ones who built the bombs for Astra, who sent Kree-Lar straight to hell with whatever radioactive cocktail was in the weapons. The ones which plagued and threatened Kree merchants and allies of the Empire.

She shot him without a second shot, turned on heel and all but ran back to the pinnace.

“The Remorrath are here.”

Val turned around, dropping Kasius on the step-up into the pinnace. “What?”

Sinara only nodded in response, busying herself with sending up an emergency signal on her terminal.

“If the Remorrath can get here without activating our scanners, we may have another Hala on our hands.” Val cursed. “Look.”

Sinara turned in the direction of the General’s gaze where a Remorrath regiment, was huddled in an alleyway.

“The pinnace will still work. It’s immune to whatever it is those bastards do to the electricity.” Kasius spoke up for the first time in ages, his speech was confused, as though he couldn’t remember how to move his mouth.

“We can’t risk them reporting on our activities here to their command.” Val pointed out. “We’re going to have to kill them first, if we leave, then we draw attention fr—”

Sinara pressed her gun into Kasius’s hand and set her knife on his life. “Just in case.”

Kasius nodded at her, weighing the weapons in his hand.

She stayed low, making her way across the grass, timing her movements with Val’s to make the action less conspicuous. They reached one of the low stone buildings that created the alley where the Remorrath were waiting. Agonizingly slowly, they crept along, hugging the building until they were close enough to see and hear their opponents.

Val didn’t wait around, leaping around the corner and impaling two on her sword in one swift blow.

Sinara sprang into action, dropping on fo Val’s attacks in moments, sending the orbs whisking through the air, taking out as many Remorrath as she could in one fell swoop. One of her soldier victims impaled another with his implanted claw. Two others rushed her only two be stopped at the last moment, the orbs in the back of their skull.

Remorrath bled black, inky and viscous like the odium vial in her breast pocket, the thought was rather sickening. How many battlefields were strewn with the blood and the odium, mixing on the ground as a result of this war?

Another charged her, claw outstretched; she dodged the blade quickly, vaulting off his extended leg and slamming his head into the stone wall of the alley. The soldier crumpled, mortally wounding himself on his own claw.

Two others grabbed her arms, pulling at her. Sinara ran up and kicked off the wall, jerking her assailants with her.

She vaulted from one wall of the alley to another. A swift kick bringing down both in one fell swoop. It wasn’t a fatal blow, but the orbs on the enemies’ prone forms more than did the trick.

She felt shaky, the adrenaline coursing through her, leaving her breathless, standing over a small sea of the dead.

Among them was General Val, gone, and with it, their chance to guide the war to an end.

_Shit._

But she had little time to dwell on it, a Remorrath soldier had broken free from behind the wall and was making for the pinnace. She pursued him, without his allies, he was easy to capture and detain for information.

The Remorrath crumpled to the ground, the new hole in his chest, fresh and smoking. She turned her eyes upwards for a source of the attack.

Kasius had panicked and shot him. Sinara bit back a caustic remark at his timing.

“Are you okay?”

Kasius stumbled away from the pinnace, and the soldier he’d murder. “I _killed_ him.”

She stopped him, two hands on his shoulders and he collapsed, curling his head closer to his chest, nearly leaning into her but keeping the space between them.

“Sorry, sir. I should have been there.”

“All the other soldiers are gone?”

Sinara nodded.

“You did well, what of Val?”

“I’m sorry, sir.”

Kasius groaned weakly and snapped his head up to look at her. “And you? You need a doctor.  I shall call ahead for medical, can you fly?”

 

_______

 

The doctor tended to Kasius first, which seemed a bit unfair, she was the one with _fucking shrapnel_ in her back, and arms and legs and bruises all over from fighting the invaders

But when they finally got to her, she wished it had taken a bit longer. The removal hurt like hell. And to make matters worse, Kasius was hovering around the table, looking incredibly concerned, and pretty stupid with the bandage around his forehead.

Kasius pestered the doctor tending to her, asking a thousand questions about what he was doing, and what he was going to do next throughout the entire procedure. She would’ve been annoyed at him, but it helped the discomfort to know what was going to happen next. It was quite unnerving to not be able to see what was going on.

At long last, the medic finished applying healing gel to the affect areas and cleared her to leave the med-bay. She sat up, dangling her legs off the edge of the table and waiting for Kasius to dismiss her.

“Val is dead.” He began. “It will be near impossible to convince my father of our point without them.”

“You still can, sir. Am I dismissed?”

Kasius gave her a long look that made her heart climb into her throat, perhaps it was the wrong question to ask.

“Of course, please get some rest, shall I exempt you from training tomorrow?”

“Thank you, sir.”

“I’m unoccupied until noon tomorrow, so there’s no need to hurry over.” And with that, he swept out of the room with not so much as a backward glance.

But Sinara sat on the table for a while longer, wondering at how good he was. Not many people cared for much beyond themselves like he did, she couldn’t even pretend that she was better than all of them. But he was compassionate, and for the first time in her life, she wished she was better.

Strange that she ever thought him a monster, when that title should belong to her.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!  
> ~sinara_smith


	7. The Talk

_Year: 2048_

_Location: Ceres_

 

The eighth briefing in two days lasted until well after midnight, and Sinara still had to fight her way through the Dome.

The lower corridor was even more crowded than usual with the new troops brought in to respond to the possible presence of Remorrath on the planet. Security and surveillance had more than tripled in the past week, by Sinara’s estimate.

Foot soldiers were sent out on patrols, days-long expeditions to survey the uninhabited parts of the planet if they were lucky. The unlucky foot soldiers were put on shifts watching security feeds and patrolling the city.

Fortunately, as a guard, there was no need for Sinara to worry about such things. She merely needed to be on hand at every moment, attending emergency meetings every time there was news. In the seven days since Val’s death, there had been at least two false alarms and subsequent briefings every day.

Four days ago, Kasius had temporarily replaced Val— despite Faulnak’s protestations that he was not medically qualified for such a task, which seemed only to reflect more resentment on him. Val had been well liked and respected by the council, and his replacement was an amateur and witness to the death.

All it meant for her was that she had to attend far more high-security meetings and hold her tongue when the other guards mocked her. The instinct to defend her charge came on horrifying quickly, but risking her credibility at this stage would be foolish. And of course, it meant staying up and out of her quarters for meetings, or waking early to attend meetings, or being woken by a terminal call summoning her to meetings.

Sinara was exhausted, so much so that she stumbled a bit getting onto the elevating platform to her new, Level 3, apartment.

Her successor in Faulnak’s guard, Vargas, saw the trip and spent the rest of the ride to Level 3 mocking her, _slipping in skill so quickly? That’s the poison of the blood traitor._

Sinara ignored him but shut the half-door between the platform and the hallway with a bit more force than necessary, so it hit Vargas about his waist.

Her quarters were about a minute’s walk from the elevating platform station, and the door retracted into the wall with a tap of her terminal.

Her quarters here were only one room, but the layout was similar to her former apartment. The back wall was a window overlooking the central corridor. However, she kept the glass frosted most of the time, most people did.

The left wall had storage and a small built-in kitchen. The bed was the only other piece of furniture; built into the wall and set between the window and a half-wall that separated the sleeping area from the entryway. The wall terminal was over the bed in such a way that it was nearly impossible to look at while sitting on the bed unless it was in hologram mode.

The bathroom and wardrobe were crammed between the half wall and the door.

All in all the apartment was less than one-hundred and fifty square feet, made of scratched, unpolished steel and stained plastic. The plastic bottom of the shower had something growing on it around the edges that no amount of scrubbing seemed to prevent. Fortunately, with only five minutes of running water a day for the whole apartment, she didn’t see too much of it.

It made her grateful that her hair was still relatively short, compared to the other women, the tips only brushing the middle of her shoulder blades. It was easier to manage on such little water, a small comfort in not being able to blend in with the others.

But the apartment was a small price to pay for being left alone for most of her time-off, for being away from the Commander. She vastly preferred time spent with Kasius, and the fact that he didn’t demand her presence in his private life as well was a significant improvement.

Everything, save the threat of an enemy invasion and a war they were a breath away from losing, was good.

Sinara was absolutely, without a doubt, fine.

 

____________

 

The Dome’s primary council room was Level 1 behind a secondary security checkpoint. It was a large room furnished only by a large, circular table, chairs for the council delegates, and roughly twenty separate wall terminals— there was also a terminal built into the table for each delegate.

It was all a bit over the top. There were about a thousand rumors on what materials insulated the room. Most said it was shatterproof, soundproof, and radiation proof, though none of these suspicions had ever been confirmed by an officer.

The room was always kept warm and dimly lit according to Emperor Taryan’s wishes, under ordinary circumstances such things might have made the occupants of the room sleepy. But these were hardly ordinary times.

Yesterday had ended late, and today’s briefing had started early by Kasius’s clock, but rather late on hers. It was seven hundred hours, and Sinara was standing behind his chair while he complained to a fellow council member from Hala about how tired he was.

The general could not more clearly be unimpressed by her commander’s attempt at small talk.

Hek-Sel stood on the other side of the general Kasius spoke to, near Faulnak’s assigned, yet empty chair. His gaze flickered over to Sinara several times and usually whenever Kasius said something particularly irritating. She hadn’t spoken to them since the last day of training before the Remorrath attacked; with one comment she’d lost significant credibility among her peers, it wouldn’t do for them to be associated with her any more than they already were. Nonetheless, she knew Hek-Sel was still concerned for her.

Eventually, Kasius ran out of topics of small talk to stumble through.

A few minutes of uncomfortable silence after that, the rest of the royal family arrived; half an hour late to a meeting they’d dragged exhausted generals and guards out of bed for.

And the meeting started out as dull as ever. Foot soldiers scouring the planet found no sign of the Remorrath, technicians scouring the airspace above Ceres had the same luck. There was no way to know why they were on Ceres, or how they’d evaded capture.

Several glares flickered her way for this reason. She and Val had killed any hope their army had of getting those answers.

But, the meeting proceeded beyond the point of acknowledging their lack of proper intelligence. When that bit was over, Faulnak stood and paced to the front of the room.

“Council members, we’ve waited long enough on this Remorrath threat. Naturally, our work has continued on other fronts, and albeit we are all still in shock from losing our home city, but it is unlike us to dally so long on a,” He hesitated and glanced around the room, as though daring others to challenge what he was about to say. “Minor inconvenience.”

He paused again, to gesture at Maston, who pulled up a map of Ceres’ docks on the largest wall terminal.

“The fleet of ships we have here will be sufficient enough to destroy the Ceresian docks in one go. As previously discussed and decided, the docks will be destroyed, depriving them of resources, weakening the Astran Empire and allowing us an opportunity to bring them low.”

Everyone in the room began to nod their assent and mumble vague agreements to his plan.

“I disagree.”

Sinara’s eyes snapped to the speaker, catching sight of his movement just soon enough to move without getting hit with the chair he threw backward.

Kasius stalked to the front of the room to stand before Faulnak; he was nearly a head shorter but wore an expression that encouraged the whole room to stay silent.

Of course, Faulnak paid no heed to this and began a reprimand.

But Kasius talked over him. “I have something to say, brother. I trust you value the voices _of all your advisors.”_

Faulnak glanced at the rest of his advisors, then, with a pained expression, shut his mouth.

It was the most impressive thing she’d ever seen, it almost made her want to break out smiling.

“I propose we restart Astran trade using the docks, but keeping them under our control. The settlers of this planet cannot be too hard to bend to our will, and reestablishing the docks will keep them happier and therefore, less of a threat to our rule. We’re bound to attract Remorrath traders or their associates. Such sources are invaluable in targeted strikes that will have a far more crippling effect on the economies of our allies.” Kasius paused, noting that he had the attention of everyone in the room. He smiled at them, not his usual bright smile but one with darkness behind his eyes. “The docks would be beneficial in negotiations as well, simply, an extra benefit for after the violence is over.”

“It would look like a retreat, how dare you suggest such foolishness?” One of the generals— the one from Sunal, Sinara thought, snapped.

“Get out of here, plant boy, you’ve no eye for such matters.” Another one scoffed.

Sinara glanced around the room to see the other guards glaring at her. 

 _A_ _s if any of this were her idea._

“Precisely, no one needs such folly, stand down,” Faulnak ordered, shoving Kasius back towards the table.

“Certainly, no need for such gestures, though I do hope you remember this conversation when your delusions of grandeur lose us this war!”

Kasius turned and stalked out of the room, leaving her to scurry around the table and out the door after him, still wondering after what the hell she had just witnessed.

 

______________

 

Kasius stayed in his study for the whole day, she had been asked to wait outside, or return to her quarters if she was so inclined.

Sinara was not, the last thing she needed was to be left entirely alone with her thoughts. Which is what happened anyways, waiting alone outside the study.

She occupied the first hour of her time by wandering the apartment. His bathroom was particularly fascinating, with a shower large enough to walk around in and more grooming products than she would ever know what to do with. However, they smelled lovely.

She spent the next three hours reading through the books on display in his sitting room; only the very rich had paper books anymore, and Faulnak had never been one for such things; his quarters had only had three. Kasius had at least twenty, all of them about science. By the time she’d finished one, she thought she might have understood what Kasius was saying about plants the last week. She briefly weighed the idea of talking to him about it, perhaps it would make her more likable.

 _What a bizarre idea_. She’d have to learn many more things before she could even begin to keep up with him, she’d only embarrass herself.

A servant entered to serve lunch, and she threw the book aside, mortified to be caught going through her commander’s things.

When Kasius didn’t emerge to eat, and the servant left, _and_ she’d exhausted all possible activities in the apartment; she was left alone with nothing else to do but sit, and think.

She could hear Kasius inside his study, intermittently making calls to acquaintances, presumably on his home planet, and muttering to himself.

She was quite surprised by the turn of events in the meeting, Kasius’s plans had gone unmentioned since Val died. Sinara had thought for sure that without an ally, it would be foolish to jeopardize their positions by bringing it up.

Apparently, Kasius was willing to lose, as surely someone of his intelligence even before he began speaking. Strangely that made him a more attractive ally. It shouldn’t have, she’d spent her whole life being agreeable to the winning side, and she’d been successful enough.

No longer in a position to manipulate Kasius; for once, she wasn’t sure what her plan was.

_You should have stayed with Faulnak’s guard, what the hell were you thinking?_

That was why she didn’t want to be left alone with her thoughts.

Sinara pulled out her terminal, it was already eighteen hundred hours, and she briefly toyed with the idea of comming Maston and Hek-Sel. It would undoubtedly start an argument, assuming they didn’t outright ignore her, but it would be something to do.

Fortunately, she was spared such a desperate move. Unfortunately, it was because Faulnak had let himself into Kasius’s quarters, and worse, he was in a nasty temper.

Even his guards looked a little nervous.

She was surprised he didn’t plow straight through her and into the study.

“Move, Sinara.”

“Sorry, your majesty, Kasius isn’t taking visitors at the moment.”

“I outrank him.”

“My duty is to your brother, sir. There’s nothing I can do.”

“A decision I’m sure you regret now, Scrappy.”

Behind him, Maston-Dar and Hek-Sel exchanged a shocked look at Faulnak’s use of the insult.

“I serve with pleasure, sir,” Sinara responded calm, despite the pesky panicked thoughts rushing through her head. He was standing close, and she was all alone.

“Whatever you’re doing, darling, it isn’t working is it? Or have you not brought out the ambitious bitch with my idiotic brother. I can’t imagine you’d condone this.”

“Kasius is his own person, sir.”

“Not when he’s sleeping with someone he isn’t.”

Maston and Hek-Sel exchanged another look of shock before turning to stare at her.

“Does that run in the family?” It was out before she could think better of it.

Behind Faulnak, Hek-Sel covered his mouth and Maston went bug-eyed, both of them trying their hardest to contain bursts of laughter. Faulnak didn’t find it as humorous.

He lunged at her, shoving her against the door.

Sinara’s eyes shut instinctively, her arms hung limp and useless at her sides. It was something of a wonder that her legs didn’t do the same. After years of training to fight any assailant, her mind was utterly blank.

“How d— “

The door opened behind her, and she stumbled backward a few steps before regaining her footing on shaky legs. Faulnak stumbled after her but caught himself on the doorframe to regain his footing.

“Honestly, Faulnak, threatening my guards? You could have just asked Sinara to come get me, she’ll kill you if you’re not more careful.” Kasius said mildly from somewhere behind her.

Sinara was still frozen, her mind stuck in a confused loop, unable to properly understand what was going on.

“I’m extremely busy, and I can assure you, I already know what you’re going to say.”

“Good,” Faulnak replied. “See that you keep quiet from now on, I’d hate to have father get involved. I doubt you’ll be able to cower behind her then.”

“Get out of my quarters.”

Faulnak threw a last glare at his brother before turning on his heel and stalking out of the room.

Kasius stepped out from behind her and turned to face her. “Are you hurt?”

“No,” Sinara replied, after a long pause, still feeling quite baffled.

“Wonderful.” Kasius started towards his sitting room. “Do you want a drink?”

_“What?”_

 

______________

 

Sinara’s arms felt heavy, and every movement of her head made her slightly dizzy. She was warm too, which was unusual in the Dome where it was always too cold for her. If Hek-Sel could see her, he would be horrified, he was always a stickler for the rules.

Kasius was much drunker than she was, she could tell because his usual hurried babbling was slow and less articulate. He talked a lot about the council. How wrong they were, how they were going to get everyone killed, how they needed to pull their heads out of their asses and stop listening to Faulnak.

It made her want to laugh. Though she hadn’t been thinking of Faulnak at all, he wasn’t even lingering in the back of her thought, until Kasius brought him up.

Somehow the thought wasn’t bothering her now.

“He’s horrid, honestly.” Kasius groaned, reclining against the back of the sofa. “He’s always been this way since we were children.”

“What about you?”

“My father,” Kasius said after a long pause. “Used to be a great man. He was a great warrior, not only for his prowess on the battlefield, but he fought intelligently. When I was young, not even five years old, something happened with the Terrans, and his strategy lost him something of great value.”

“What?” Sinara asked, knowing somewhere in the back of her mind

“The Destroyer of Worlds,” Kasius spoke with so much bravado he could only be being sarcastic.

Sinara scoffed. “What the hell is that, some bomb?”

“A woman, who could tear a planet apart with her bare hands. My father gave up everything trying to bring her into our ranks.”

Sinara knew those stories, the woman who started the war, the stories she’d always thought idiotic at best, propaganda at worst. “Bullshit.”

Kasius shrugged. “Probably. But after he failed, he turned towards violently asserting his power. Faulnak followed, and after my mother passed away, they didn’t take well to those who disagreed with them.”

“You.” Sinara guessed.

Kasius nodded. “I couldn’t bear to join their bloody machinations, so I studied. Hardly an acceptable path for someone of my standing, but one that kept me well out of it, until my home city was decimated by our enemies.”

Sinara was quiet when he finished his story, wondering if there was anything he would add and what he wasn’t saying. She could surmise enough of what he said, it had been damaging enough to drive him away from everything he knew for years.

“What about you? Tell me about Kree-Lar.”

She did, sparing no detail of the suffering of Kree-Larans.

Then she surprised herself. “I don’t know who my parents are, I was raised by a poor man who needed someone to help with his work. He sold me to the scientists who put the chip in my brain. They gave me to the military to become some weapon of mass destruction—”

“A replacement for the Terran my father lost.”

“Perhaps. But I wasn’t impressive enough.”

Kasius laughed, though she couldn’t imagine what in that statement was funny. But when he’d gotten over that, he asked another question. “How do you know Faulnak?”

“He came to Kree-Lar when it was the headquarters for the war effort. He noticed me during training once.”

“So he hired you?” Kasius was entirely unsubtle in his attempts to get the story out of her now.

Sinara shook her head, there wasn’t any point in not telling him, he knew well enough already. “We slept together for a while before that.”

Kasius took a sharp intake of breath, then tried to conceal it with a cough and hasty sip of wine. “Oh?”

“There aren’t many opportunities for people like me. I took what I could get.”

Kasius was silent for so long she felt obligated to add. “I would’ve been out a long time ago, but he gave me no choice.”

“That’s awful,” Kasius muttered, then backtracked quickly. “Not that you, you ah, know, but that you had to. And that h—”

Kasius fell silent for a while longer. “You must hate us.”

Sinara just shook her head.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!
> 
> ~sinara_smith


	8. The Sofa

_Year: 2048_

_Location: Ceres_

 

Sinara awoke to the shrill chiming of her terminal, with a dull headache and not in her own quarters.

For a brief, horrifying moment, she thought she recognized her surroundings as Faulnak’s quarters, but the decor was wrong. _Not Faulnak’s, then,_ rather Kasius’s sitting room.

She sat up, swinging her legs over the edge of the sofa she was sprawled on and shoving the blanket covering her aside— even though the movement only made her headache worse.

Her terminal was still ringing on the table beside the sofa. Sinara grabbed it hastily and turned off the alarm, hoping against hope that she hadn’t woken anyone up. On the messages partition, she had a notice that morning training was canceled again— not a surprise, they hadn’t had one in over a week.

But it was fortunate; she could hardly imagine training with such a hangover and found herself wondering how the hell Maston managed to do it so often. No wonder his skills had deteriorated since he’d come of age.

With nothing else to do, Sinara flopped back against the couch and pulled the blanket over her. The light from her terminal hurt her eyes in the half-dark room, so she turned in off and turned her face against the pillow behind her head.

Her memory was a bit foggy; she remembered talking about Faulnak; which she promptly cursed herself for doing. Kasius and his brother hardly had an amicable relationship, but she should consider herself lucky if the family kept her one after that. Sure, she vaguely remembered Kasius had been angry about the whole idea, but he was also somewhat intoxicated, and his kind were prone to extremes. No matter how much she wanted to trust him, the non-stupid part of her brain was screaming; _Idiot, girl._

 _Not to mention how she’d ended up asleep on the couch in the first place._ Sinara had no recollection of what had inspired that decision.

Nothing to do now but wait the few hours until Kasius woke up. With luck, he would simply think she was early to work. She examined her reflection in the darkened glass of her terminal; she looked pale, sick, and exhausted, but fortunately, that was about average.

She buried her face back in the pillow, content to wait there, fervently wishing her eyes would stop throbbing until she heard Kasius moving about down the hall.

She just needed to focus on staying awake until then, and she didn’t expect it would be hard as long as she kept thinking about how screwed she was.

But, she woke up hours later, with someone shaking her shoulder gently.

Sinara sat up so quickly she almost ran into Kasius, who jerked away like she’d burned him.

_Fuck._

“Sir, I—” Sinara blurted out, then stopped, realizing she had no read on the situation. Her heart was racing as though trying to leave her chest, sending spikes of pain through her head, followed by waves of nausea…

 _Fuck!_  

“I didn’t mean to startle you, I thought you might want to be awake before the servants…” Kasius trailed off, letting his hand slide off her shoulder and down her arm, as though in a soothing gesture. 

Lost as to how to respond, Sinara nodded mechanically. “Thank you.”

“You’re sure you’re all right?”

Sinara ignored the screaming voice inside her head and shot him a reassuring smile. “Just a headache.”

Kasius nodded, adjusting his position, so he was sitting opposite her, on the low table. “Not to worry, I’ll have someone bring a hangover cure when they bring breakfast. I, myself, am feeling a bit out of sorts. If it would help, you can sit in the other room until—”

“I’ll live sir, thank you.” Sinara brushed him and the visceral horror she felt at the idea aside.

Kasius grimaced, and Sinara had the sense that he knew everything in her head regardless of her best efforts. His head bobbed about in a nervous nod for a few moments before he continued. “We won’t be meeting with the council until midday.”

Sinara had nearly forgotten the political travesty of the previous day, it was hardly her concern. If she needed to, she could pass this off as an unfortunate assignment, something she had no hand in.

It was him she was worrying about. 

_____________

 

After breakfast, Kasius wanted to spend his morning running some sort of simulation on his terminal, some hypothetical experiments on digital plants.

 _Clearly a distraction from the chaos._ Sinara thought with a twinge of concern but said nothing. After all, there wasn’t a lot she could say.

Sinara sat in his study on the curved couch fitted into one of the corners of the room. It was nearly an hour before he asked her a question. Though she anticipated the question coming at least forty-five minutes in advance with how he kept glancing over at her every few moments.

“There’s truly no vegetation on Kree-Lar?” He asked finally, without preamble.

She shook her head in response, not needing anything to fill the silence because Kasius was already talking again.

“The oxygen is generated entirely by the machine?”

Sinara furrowed her brow. “You’re a scientist. Why don’t you know?”

“I suppose most of my peers don’t find it worth studying, it’s hardly larger than an asteroid. But, I say, it’s ability to be a self-sustaining colony against such tall odds, it’s worthy of excessive studying.”

As he spoke, he paced over and sat beside her on the couch.

“There has been no work done on how Kree adapt to living in such conditions full-time, in the one hundred years since the colony was established, it’s simply a disgrace.” Kasius continued.

Sinara could tell him enough about that; they were paler, their bones were less dense, and they were all on anti-cancer medication all of the time. As a result, birth rates were low. It didn’t even take a genius like him to put it together.

“Could Kree-Larans return to Hala, do you think?” Sinara asked as the question occurred to her.

Kasius turned towards her, laying his arm over the back of the sofa. He seemed momentarily confused by the query. “It’s one of the questions that testing could answer, but I recall reading about the settlement of Kree-Lar, the gravity is different, not to mention allergies to the plant life and so forth. Your system is simply unaccustomed to such things.”

 _What the hell was wrong with her?_ She hadn’t realized that she was turning towards him, leaning in as he spoke. She had to stop herself from jerking away and making everything more uncomfortable and terrible. _Get it together._

“Would you like to visit Hala?”

“Maybe, but it seems likely that I’ll die before then.”

Kasius made a soft sound in the back of his throat, it ambiguous in meaning; it might have been amusement or discomfort at the idea.

“Well, don’t give up hope so easily, Sinara. Perhaps the Council will elect not to be complete cretins for once, we are not so far gone that there is no hope of winning.”

“Your optimism is boundless.” She replied dryly, smiling in spite of herself.

Kasius smiled back at her. “Someone’s got t—” He fell silent, tilting his head slightly. “Do you hear that?”

The rumble of engines overhead.

Sinara nodded. “Perhaps the pilot's division is pr—”

The entire room shuddered. In the distance, there was an explosion that resounded through the metal frame of the Dome. When the noise died down, she could hear metal shrieking and collapsing in the distance.

Her heart stopped dead in her chest.

“Get down. Under the couch.”

Kasius didn’t hesitate before obeying her, she didn’t hesitate in following suit.

Underneath the couch was cramped, her left shoulder was digging into its underside. She pitied Kasius’s broader shoulders and the way he was forced to curl inwards to fit in the space. For a brief moment, she was only vaguely aware of the continued explosions.

The explosions must have been on the opposite side of the Dome, but there was no telling when or if they would get closer.

Sinara pulled out her terminal, the connection mainframe was down, she’d received no new messages.

“Shit.”

“What?” Kasius’s voice was positively trembling when he spoke.

“The mainframe is down.”

Kasius moaned. In the half-light underneath the sofa, she saw him screw up his face in horror. He was terrified at their predicament, utterly uncollected in the face of danger. It reminded her of the first time she’d met him. At least this time he wasn’t hyperventilating, he’d be breathing down her neck.

Sinara trailed her hand across the belt on her waist, none of the weapons it held would be any use against bombs dropped from ships. She said nothing of this to Kasius, it wouldn’t do to have him know there was no way she could save him beyond breaking the fall if the floor collapsed.

 _Now_ he was hyperventilating. Sinara couldn’t suppress a shudder at the tickling sensation it brushed across the left side of her face and neck.

His breath hitched. “What is it?”

“Nothing.”

“Did something get worse? What’s going on? Are you frightened? People don’t spasm like that for no reason, are you cold?”

“It’s nothing.”

“If you don’t want to tell me, that means you don’t want to scare me, given the situation, so that must mean there’s bad news, I didn’t hear anything, so there’s something I have not noticed—”

With his every word her heart rate was racing faster and faster, more gusts of air on her face and on her neck. And suddenly it felt like she wasn’t in the study, or under the couch at all, she wasn’t lying still, she was—

“It was your breathing, sir.” Sinara interrupted, forcing the thought in her head to disappear.

“Oh.” He was quiet for a long time, his silence allowing the crashing sounds of destruction to filter back in.

Eventually, he lifted the arm he wasn’t lying on and reached out; his fingertips hovering near her waist. “Can I?”

When she nodded, he looped his arm around her back, hand resting in the middle of her spine, fingers tracing slow circles on the jacket of her uniform— likely meant to calm her.

“All right?”

She nodded again, this time slowly as she leaned forward until her forehead rested below his collarbone; her free hand coming to rest on his upper arm.

_What the hell are you doing?_

_Shut up! Odds say we’re going to die right now!_

 

___________

 

They didn’t die.

A group of foot soldiers had burst through the door and helped them evacuate to a council room on the lower floors. By the time they were secured, the battle was over, and most of the survivors were working to stabilize the Dome. The area farthest from the entrance, back near the airfields had sustained massive damages.

Their rescuers didn’t know much; the attackers were Remorrath ships, and they had bombed most of the ships parked outside the Dome. There had been heavy losses to the ground team who drove away the attackers with ground-to-air explosives.

It seemed strange that the Remorrath could enter without being detected on their surveillance. Stranger still that they would retreat with no heavy losses, no ships down. But with most of the Kree vessels lying in ruins; Taryan and Faulnak could hardly give the order to pursue them for capture and interrogation.

Since their arrival in the council room, doctors had been fussing over Kasius. Despite his insistence that he was "excellent," the doctors insisted on running half a dozen tests.

She was given a blanket and no tests after enduring the same as he did.

After the doctors left, he seemed irritated by this decision.

“How did you escape that torture?” He grumbled, moving to stand before her.

“Have you tried being less important?”

Kasius chuckled, reaching out as though to touch her shoulder.  But he stopped, and she looked up only to recognize the question in his eyes before he could say anything.

Sinara nodded.

His hand slid around over her neck, coming to rest at the nape. She felt his fingers curling around the side of her neck and his palm pressing the other side acutely, but not, as she was surprised to realize, uncomfortably.

“You’re sure you’re all right? If you need a doctor, I’m sure I can—”

“Neither of us were hurt.”

“If you decide otherwise—”

The door to the room slammed open, Faulnak, Taryan, and a host of guards came in. Kasius jumped away from her as though she’d let off an electric pulse.

Beyond him, Sinara could make out Maston and Hek-Sel staring at her in mild disgust and extreme amusement.

Faulnak scoffed. “Would you two like a private room, or shall we solve this crisis now?”  

“There’s nothing to solve,” Taryan said bitterness saturating his tone. “We’re fucked.”

“Father!” Faulnak snapped, sounding more indignant than Sinara had ever heard. “You—”

“Silence, boy. We’ve no ships, heavy losses in troops, this is just another Hala. And all of you are useless. Can’t win a war with incompetent, weak men.”

“You’re not to say anything like that to the council!” Faulnak retorted, his voice more imperious as he crept closer to his father until he was towering over him. Something had happened before they entered the room, a quarrel between their two leaders. She recognized the tension shaking his shoulders— he was furious.

Kasius seemed to sense it too; wincing, then glancing back at her.

“Father, they’ll be here any minute now, you have got to—” Faulnak babbled in the background, drowning out his father’s statements of disinterest.

Sinara pushed herself off the table, shedding the blanket draped over her shoulders. “Sir?”

“A word?” Kasius stepped towards a corner of the room, away from the tables and benches arranged and ready for the upcoming meeting.

He barely waited for her to approach before he began speaking in a low voice. “We need to—”

“This predicament offers an opportunity to use your plan.” She was starting to think she was too comfortable interrupting him.

But his face lit up. “My thoughts precisely, Sinara. When the Council arrives, they’ll see soon enough that it’s our only option going on so few ships.”

“Kasius!” Taryan called.

Kasius turned around, ungainly and hurriedly at his father’s summons. “Yes, sir?”

“What was that ridiculous plan you dreamed up for the council meeting yesterday. Your brother assures me that it is by far our worst option. Even in this, the darkest of hours in this war.”

Sinara supposed she understood better where Kasius got his flowery style of speaking from.

“I thought, sir, that using the information that re-opening Astran trade could bring to target strikes against Remorrath supply vessels would be effective in breaking the will of our foes.”

“We would need ships.”

“Yes, sir. But not so many, we could easily call upon the forces we have spread across the system—”

“No, we’ll need the support of our men and weapons on Hala. Opening the docks will buy us the months we need for the journey to be made; we have got a few ships remaining, old patrol ships that were away during the attack. Not ideal for a long journey, but passable.”

And his penchant for talking and thinking.

“Father, you can’t be serious.” Faulnak interrupted. “It’s madness if you think the council will ever go along with such a humiliation.”

“Shut up!” Kasius snapped.

Faulnak strode towards Kasius, quickly with a purpose Sinara highly doubted was good news. She stepped out in front of Kasius.

And Kasius stepped in front of her, meeting Faulnak with an even gaze.

Faulnak cackled. “Well done Sinara, no matter what you say it seems you have got my brother all under your sway, it would be a pity if—”

“Don’t talk to her.” Kasius shifted to obscure Faulnak’s line of sight. “I can assure you you’ve done enough in that area.”

Sinara wanted to be angry that Kasius gave up the jig on how she was doing. But she was mostly just impressed.

“Oh, honestly” Taryan bellowed. “You want to spend more time on this nonsense.”

“No, sir.” Faulnak and Kasius mumbled, turning from each other to Taryan. Both actions were entirely in unison.

“We shall need soldiers to pilot the patrol to Hala and spread the word, preferable ranking officers with clout on Hala.”

“We can’t spare the generals—” Kasius offered, a suggestion that his father seemed to take to heart.

Taryan turned to Faulnak. “Your lieutenants will suffice—”

“They will not, two is no crew for a space ship,” Faulnak argued. “Are you sure this an advised choice, father?”

“Fine, they can take Kasius’s guard girl with them as well. You fly, girl?”

Sinara’s “Yes, sir.” was automatic, almost a reflex, something she was too stunned to stop herself from saying.

“Absolutely not. Send Vargas instead.” Kasius demanded.

“As first lieutenants, Sinara, Maston, and Hek-Sel are Vargas’s superiors.” Faulnak’s tone had gone from infuriated to patronizing in two seconds flat.

“It’s nearly two months’ journey in a ship that size. Not to mention the return journey!”

“I’m sure Sinara prefers a trip to Hala to spending another moment as your guard. We’re doing the girl a favor.” Taryan spoke as though she weren’t there, his tone more patronizing even than Faulnak’s.

She didn’t dare shake her head when Kasius turned to look at her, praying only that her expression said enough. “Your orders, sir?”

Kasius glanced back at father before looking back at her, his eyes were dark. “Go.”

  



	9. The Note

_Year: 2048_

_Location: HRN Transport: “Tachi”_

 

_Dear Sinara,_

 

The first letter began thusly, with a proper salutation handwritten elegantly, with a stylus on a terminal; as though she was someone respectable.

 

_I don’t know your ships comms are working, but I sincerely hope this message this succeed in getting to you. Things here are progressing slowly, though, I thought you might like to know that my father allowed us to re-open the docks two days ago. The influx of traders has been, overwhelming, it seems even I underestimated how important the Ceres outpost was to this section of the universe._

_And we’ve been quite busy processing the influx of information. My father wants to wait for your return with reinforcements to stage any attacks, though that moment is seven weeks away at best. I will do my best to convince him that for once his strategy of attacking quickly will serve us best; fortunately, for once, I may have the approval of the council in this matter. What think you of this course of action?_

_I do hope you’re not gone more than the seven weeks, your replacement is simply dreadful, that girl never stops talking. People have the strangest ways of trying to impress, wouldn’t you say?_

_But I digress, I’m sure the journey is keeping you quite busy. But, if you find a moment, I would enjoy hearing your input on using the intelligence, and confirmation, if you would, that you and your compatriots are faring well on your journey._

_Kasius._

 

Sinara was completely baffled. And not just by the run-on sentences that were only comprehensible if she concentrated very hard on hearing him speak somewhere in her head. She read the letter three times over trying to understand why it read so strangely, stuck somewhere between formal and quite personal. She nearly asked Maston to read it over, before deciding that it was a terrible idea.

______________

 

The ship was a two-compartment patrol vessel, the main compartment, and a small bathroom. It designed for intra-atmospheric use or use in orbit, it was incapable of passing through jump points but had been outfitted with a new engine to make it suitable for a long flight. Well, mostly suitable, something went wrong at least once a day due to the strain the journey put on it.

They named the ship Tachi and gave it transponders to mimic that of a Terran vessel so that they would slip under the radar of other vessels. No one had it out for Terrans anymore, not after what happened thirty years ago.

Even still, leaving the Tachi unattended for a few moments could be disastrous; they were the last ship in the fleet of Ceres. So they spent twenty-one hours strapped to their seats, taking injections every four hours to survive the high-gravity, as well as nutritional and hydrating injections.

They had staggered periods of three hours for personal time; always spent showering under the tiny hose in the small bathroom, not built for extended stays, and sleeping in the one bunk built into the Tachi’s rear wall. To move, they had to wear shoes that would hold them steady on the metal floor regardless of how fast they were traveling.

All-in-all, the journey to Hala was proving to be a nightmare, and they were only a week into the journey.

Hek-Sel was a better pilot than Sinara, and Maston was a better engineer than Sinara, so she spent her hours sitting with the navigations and weapons screen in front of her, little to do when their course was set, and no one to fight.

And yet, it took her three days to consider responding to the letter. Perhaps, she wouldn’t have done it at all if not for Hek-Sel.

He read it over her shoulder while she was re-reading it for the fortieth time. “What the fuck is that?”

“A message, from my charge.” Sinara resisted the temptation to shut off her chair’s terminal, he’d already seen it.

“Sent three days ago, and you’re still reading it? Quite attached to him, are we?”

“No, don’t you have to fly this thing?”

Hek-Sel grumbled unintelligibly at the response but assumed his seat. “Have you responded?”

“No.”  

“Why the hell not? That there is a golden opportunity for you. People like you don’t let it slide if someone like him wants to screw you.”

“He doesn’t want to, I mean, look at me.”

Hek-Sel turned and glanced her over. “What? You’re a girl? He’s had female lovers too an—”

Sinara blinked and waved her hand to cut him off. “Disgusting. Shut up.”  

 

______________

 

 

_Sir,_

_Please excuse my delayed response, the_ Tachi _is keeping us all on our toes. I sincerely appreciate your checking in on us._

_On the matter of striking against the Remorrath, I would agree with you. At the pace we’re going, we’ll not be back for many weeks yet. I hope the council is cooperative with you on this matter. I should think that you could at least count on Faulnak’s support, it’s the decision he would make. No offense, sir._

_I sympathize with your guard troubles, my compatriots on the Tachi have been nothing but an annoyance since our departure. Though, I doubt in my case they are trying to impress. Otherwise, the journey is moving forward well._

_Respectfully,_

_First Lieutenant Sinara_

 

Sinara “borrowed” Maston-Dar’s stylus to write her response and spent a total of five hours working to mimic Kasius’s elegant script. But, as she scanned the final product, she was appalled at the quality of the writing. It sounded stilted at best, and her handwriting— shaky lines across the screen, paled in comparison to his.

At the very least, she hoped,  Kasius would approve of her word choice; stilted or not, it sounded quite intelligent.

“Your handwriting is atrocious.” Maston sniped, passing behind her chair as she read over the most recent iteration of the letter. “Just type it and spare yourself the humiliation.”

Sinara made a rude gesture in his general direction as a response.

“Hardly, she’s replying to some fancy-ass letter that Faulnak’s brother wrote her,” Hek-Sel called, his head appearing around the door to the bathroom.

Maston cackled. “We called it, Sel. Scrappy here just can’t keep her hands off ‘em— wait, is that my stylus?”

Sinara scoffed, electing to ignore the other jabs. “Yes. You can have it back when the prince of a major empire wants to talk to you.”

She glanced back down at her monitor and pressed ‘send’.

 

______________

 

 

_Dear Sinara,_

_I say, there’s no reason for you to call me ‘sir,’ have I said that before? I’m almost sure that I have. And I won’t hear apologies for doing your job, please and thank you, it may surprise you, but I’m capable of being quite patient._

_For once, it seems my brother seems willing to work with me. I think even he’s beginning to see how incapable my father is of ruling. We’ve been discussing using our reinforcements from Hala to stage an attack on Astra upon your return. Not that has any bearing on how distasteful he is. He’s been as awful and infuriating as usual, though I hardly have ground to stand on beside you._

_And, that said, I’m open to the idea of simply ridding ourselves of him altogether._

_My new guard accompanied me into town today and was far too preoccupied making conversation to notice danger in the vicinity. I just cannot understand why the Ceresians are still staging these riots when we’ve given their docks back to them. Suffice to say, one of the rioters was able to leave a cut on my cheek before she even noticed anything was wrong._

_I hope fervently things have been better with your crew members. I can only imagine the discomfort of being on the ship with those two. I hope it will make your return to Ceres that much sweeter._

_I am eagerly anticipating any further updates on your journey._

_Kasius_

 

______________

 

 

_Kasius,_

_We’re two weeks from Hala now. We experienced a slight delay after a mechanical failure with the engine that required extensive repairs. It was the first time I’ve had to do a spacewalk._

_It is good news that Faulnak seems willing to follow your plans, I admit I hadn’t thought it very likely._

_My crew members are no less irritating than before, despite your well-wishes. I should thank you, your message has provided a distraction from their bullshit._

_First Lieutenant Sinara_

 

______________

 

 

_“First Lieutenant Sinara”_

_You are a woman of few words, do you know that? I would have hoped for a bit more to go on, particularly if my messages are the last thread preventing your descent into madness amidst frustrating crew members._

_The past few days have been quiet; I’ve gotten the opportunity to examine more of the plant life near the Dome. The differing levels of oxygen and carbon on Ceres have the most fascinating effect on the plants' structure. They maintain similarities to plants on Hala or even Terra, but their growth rates are completely unrivaled. I’ve collected samples to bring to Hala, their adaptations to the Ceresian environment could help enormously with food production on Hala given the right approach._

_I don’t suppose you find this at all interesting, do you? You’d do a better job at my responsibilities than I ever would, I’m sure. I suppose I haven’t the strength for such things. But, I think you do. So, I hope you’ll not let me alone when this all ends. It seems rather strange to have grown so dependent after mere weeks, but there’s a place for you on Hala, willing that you wish to take it._

_One more thing; I do wish you’d stop reminding me of your rank at the end of every note. It’s not as though I’ll forget it, dear, it does show up in your contact information when I receive the message._

_Kasius_

 

______________

 

 

The increased gravity was making Sinara tired, her body ached under the strain. She’d heard once that people who moved to Hala permanently need injections to cope with it, for the rest of their lives.

They were docked at Hala and put up in a small apartment for the night before their return journey. She was sitting by the window staring out at the city beyond; it was unlike anything she’d ever seen. The buildings were white stone and glass, the streets were made of blue paving stones, and the city was broken up by areas of greenery; gardens and parks and such. Beyond the city, she could make out the peaks of blue mountains blurred against the white sky. To the other side, there was water; black and shimmering in the sunlight as far as she could see. It was far cry from the grays and browns that seemed to make up any and everything on Kree-Lar or even the unbroken expanse of green that was Ceres.

In the street below their apartment, she could make out purple and orange flowers lining the entrance to a building across the way.

The plants were different than those on Ceres, Hala was hotter and dryer than Ceres, so it came as no surprise. It was not something she would have wondered at before Kasius.

The thought reminded her of his most recent letter, received three days ago, and yet she couldn’t quite wrap her mind around it.

Sinara pulled out her terminal and read over the third message five more times. Her thoughts fluctuated between confused, horrified, and thrilled. He was mocking her, clearly more out of affection than malice. She could barely process it beyond a single thought:

Weird.

The door to the apartment slammed open, and Maston-Dar came stumbling through. He knew someone in command and had insisted that he be the one to request reinforcements. Sinara had absolutely no faith in his ability to speed up the process.

Sinara tossed aside her terminal, they already gave her enough nonsense about the messages.

“Did you talk to your,” she hesitated, glancing Maston over. He was clearly very intoxicated. “Friend?”

“Yes. He is going’t’help’ssss” Maston grumbled, stumbling towards the door to the room he and Hek-Sel were sharing.

The latter of whom had been sleeping since their arrival. Sinara doubted he would be pleased with the drunken intrusion.

“We’re leaving tomorrow?” She asked, hoping he would say yes. Now that she’d gotten to Hala, it would be easy to disappear, to get away from every reminder of Kree-Lar, and Faulnak and however else she’d gotten here. It had always been a contingency plan of hers; even without powerful friends, Hala was leaps and bounds beyond Ceres and Kree-Lar.

But she couldn’t, something was pulling her back to Ceres. She didn’t know what the something was, but for the past few days, she’d been in an awful hurry to get back.

“Yes, you have somewhere t’be? Someone to do?”

“No.”

“Don’t be like that, Sinara, I’m jus’ lookin’ out for you.” His slurred, elongated words were beginning to sound wrong to her ears.

Her stomach clenched, and her grip on the chair’s arms tightened involuntarily. “Don’t.”

 

______________

 

_Kasius,_

_We’ve just left Hala. From the communication Maston and I sent earlier, you should know this by now. I hope it was comprehensible. Maston was only too happy to take advantage of Hala’s ‘amenities’ during our visit. I had a chance to look at the plants on Hala while I was there. It reminded me of your message. I suppose I can see why you enjoy them._

_With luck, we’ll be back on Ceres in three weeks time. We’ve been transferred to a larger ship for the return journey and gained two new crew members. It will hardly be enough to run a ship this large, but it will improve travel time. This is a relief, I am looking forward to getting back to Ceres._

_Sinara_

 

______________

 

 

_Dear Sinara,_

_I feel as though I should tell you that Maston has been the subject of many jokes since your message from Hala was received. Though it was good to see your face— you changed your hair, is that your version of taking advantage of Hala’s ‘amenities’? Furthermore, you look quite tired, I hope that with a few more crew members, you will at least be allowed more time to rest._

_I hope the gravity wasn’t too much for you, and your compatriots, I suppose. Though, hearing of their behavior, they seem more deserving of a court-martial than concern. Honestly, Faulnak has dreadful taste, I deeply apologize that you had to run with him in the past._

_I am looking forward to you getting back to Ceres as well, I’m sure my letters have made it rather obvious that I miss you, but all the same, I do. You’re leagues better company than anyone else on this rock, and— I like your accent, have I ever mentioned that? My father mocks the Kree-Laran dialect at least once a week. Though, I quite like yours— or perhaps, I quite like you. I'm horrifyingly transparent, so I trust you’re thoroughly horrified by all this._

_Kasius_

______________

 

 

_Dear Kasius,_

_I cut my hair to make it easier to clean on the journey to Hala. On an unrelated note, you are too transparent and really ought to be more careful._

_Sinara_

 

______________

 

 

This was getting ridiculous.

Sinara leaned back in her navigator’s seat, brushing her hair out of her face. She wished she could shut off her mind for a few moments. Sitting for so many hours in the chair staring at a screen with the course already set did little to distract her mind. She was useless to stop her mind from spinning a thousand thoughts about him. No amount of reasoning with herself would talk her subconscious out of making them; strange ideas that he was kind, or caring, different, or merely just sincere in what his messages said.

If she thought too hard about it, it felt as though two parts of her mind were making enemies of each other. One insisting that Kasius’s actions functioned at face value; that she had the right read on the situation, that he wouldn’t hurt her.

The other disagreed. People don’t do things like this for no reason, she thought. Just because this is an improvement doesn’t mean that you’re safe. Get a grip before things get worse.

The fear was undeniable, clamoring around inside her skull, louder and louder every time she allowed the thoughts to creep back in. Even if she distracted herself, the fear hung quietly in the back of her mind and coiled around in her chest, not giving her a moment’s peace.

It wasn’t like four years ago, not exactly. She had never considered caring about Faulnak. But she was familiar enough with the foolish optimism that came from believing someone cared what happened to her.

Nonetheless, she was watching herself fall into the same trap as before.

“What’s wrong with you, Scrappy?”

“Headache.” Sinara forced herself to sit up if only to flash Hek-Sel a glare.

“Sure, just don’t get us all killed if you decide to take a nap on the job. How’s the letter-writing campaign working for you?”

“Great. What do you know about the ongoings in the council on Ceres?”

Hek-Sel blinked. “Not much.”

Sinara smirked at him; brushing the whole business off made her feel a bit better.

That can’t be good.

 

______________

 

_Dear Sinara,_

_I hope you’re not still angry about my last letter. Your response gave me the distinct impression that you were._

_I’m not sure if you recall our conversation the night before you left— you told me a bit of your history with my brother and your life on Kree-Lar. But, I remember well what you told me. I can only imagine, and I can hardly claim to do that, what you endured. I should hate to be a reminder of that as much as possible, so I do hope that you’ll communicate such things to me. I can’t imagine your assignment to my guard is particularly helpful to you in this way._

_I don’t doubt that you’ll hate this letter too, but I thought it would be worth saying. You’re never going to owe me anything, you’ve saved my life enough damn times for any of that to be relevant._

_Kasius_

 

______________

 

 

Damn it.

  



	10. The Night

_ Year: 2048 _

_ Location: Ceres _

 

They arrived back on Ceres, nearly ten weeks after leaving. The landing was incredibly bumpy, in their absence, the rainier season on the planet had begun, and it was storming when they arrived. 

By the time she was allowed to unfasten the restraints holding her in the navigator’s couch, Sinara felt distinctly nauseous. She was completely exhausted, and her legs felt shaky after being strapped to the seat for over twenty hours. The trip back was more harrowing, a fleet so large could not be disguised, and they had to be cautious to stay off enemy radar. 

The emperor, his sons, and the council generals were waiting outside the Dome, near the landing strip. None of them looking particularly thrilled about having to stand in the torrential rain and gusting wind. 

It was understandable, they were quite thoroughly soaked moments after stepping off their vessel. 

“How long do you suppose they’ve been waiting?” Maston-Dar muttered, following her closely enough to whisper the question in her ear. 

“Long enough. We’re the last to land.” Sinara responded, keeping her eyes trained on the ground five meters in front of her. Even when they stopped in front of the Emperor, looking up felt as impossible as looking into the sun. 

“We’ve stood here long enough,” Taryan said by way of greeting. 

Faulnak cleared his throat. 

“Welcome to Ceres.” Taryan amended, sounding quite insincere. “Let’s get out of this weather.” 

They began the trek back to the Dome. Sinara kept focused on the ground still, slightly afraid to look at Kasius. 

She hadn’t responded to his last message, partially because of a communications blackout in their flotilla to avoid detection. But, mostly because she didn’t know what she would say to him. So far, she was doing just fine not thinking about it, not thinking about what he said, or about the fact that if she did think, her stomach would tie itself into knots and not necessarily in a bad way. As long as she looked away, she could keep it up. 

 

___________ 

 

They were immediately herded into a first-floor council room, without even the chance to change out of their soaked uniforms. 

With the new arrivals from Hala, the room was overcrowded, and loud, even when no one was speaking particularly loudly. 

Sinara stood near the entrance with Hek-Sel, while the others moved forward to assume their positions near the table. 

Hek-Sel caught her arm, pulling her away from the other soldiers. 

Sinara pulled her arm out of his grip. “What, asshole?”

“Need a favor, can you ask the Commander—” 

“No.” 

“What do you mean no?” 

“I don’t work for him, don’t you suppose there’s a reason for that?” 

Hek-Sel faltered. “I figured it was some ploy.” 

Over Hek-Sel’s shoulder, Sinara caught sight of Kasius and another council member whose name she couldn’t be bothered to remember, watching their discussion intently. Both of them looked away when they caught her eye. 

“We’re not talking about this.” 

“But—” 

The room fell silent before he could continue, prompting the both of them to turn towards the front of the room where Taryan had taken his position near the wall terminal projecting a map of Ceres, Astra and the space between the two planets. 

“All right, it’s late, we’re all tired, I’ll be brief.” He spoke with charisma that no one who saw him on the tarmac minutes before would have guessed he had in him. “We attack tomorrow, the Astran capital has been weakened by our strikes on Remorrath suppliers, and the window is small before they can recover. Our reinforcements from Hala will provide air support, traveling this path,” Taryan paused, tracing a finger across the glass terminal, a curved path connected the two circles representing Ceres and Astra. A glowing blue line followed his finger across the screen “The airstrikes will serve more as a distraction to give the ground teams coming in from here,” Taryan tracing another, more roundabout path from Ceres to Astra, this time leaving a glowing red line on the screen. 

“And here,” The third line was yellow and curved in the opposite direction of the red. “A chance to slip under the Astrans radar. The ground teams will target these buildings.” 

Taryan waved a hand, and the map disappeared, replaced by a map of the city they were plotting an attack on. He tapped two compounds on the image. “Military and government buildings. We take over here, we get control. Remember, Astra is no Terra if we control their capital city, we win the war. We cannot afford to lose tomorrow and will not, the Astrans don’t know that we’re coming, they don’t know of our reinforcements, we’ll have our best soldiers on the ground.” 

The council nodded their assent, Sinara suspected that this plan had been drawn out before the meeting, even before their return. Taryan’s monologue was met with no resistant; an agreement already settled upon. 

“All non-civilian personnel will be receiving their orders for the battle in the next few minutes, please keep an eye on your terminals. Dismissed.” 

Sinara stood near the wall, waiting out the crush of councilmembers, soldiers, and guards, trying to leave the room. She stared at her terminal until it finally chimed and a notification popped up titled simply “Orders 40-256-5”. She opened the message and scanned its contents. 

_ Report To: Airfield 1 _

_ Time: 0600 hours _

_ Assignment: First Ground-Strike Team _

_ Commander: Kasius, Faulnak,  Identification Number: 2 _

 

Sinara suppressed a groan and the urge to hurl her terminal against the nearest wall and made her way towards the exit. 

Time to get some rest. 

 

___________ 

  
  


Sinara shut and bolted the door behind her, her hands trembling slightly as she did. It was somewhat concerning, though, she supposed between the exhaustion and her soaking, freezing uniform; she could excuse it. 

She turned from the door and surveyed her quarters. It was as she left it, organized, barren, and grimy from the dirt that no amount of cleaning could rid the space of. The window shades were open to the terraced walkway outside her door where a few soldiers were congregated outside her neighbor’s quarters; drinking and chatting loudly.

“Close the window,” Sinara said. 

The room’s terminal heard her and a grey film slide over the glass concealing her from any passers-by. 

Sinara sat on the edge of her cot and removed her shoes, tossing them close to the air vent in the hope that proximity to the circulating air would dry them by morning. She undressed and discarded her jumpsuit and undergarments on the floor beside the cot. 

She was about to duck into the bathroom to shower, with over two months of saved hot water rations; she was rather looking forward to not hurrying through it for once. 

But someone was knocking on her door. 

Suppressing a groan, she grabbed the robe hanging near her shower, tying it around her waist as she went to check the terminal near the door for video footage. She was almost entirely sure it was a drunken soldier with the wrong room. 

It wasn’t, it was Kasius. 

_ This cannot be good.  _

She pressed the button for the intercom that would allow her to speak through the door. “Sir?” 

“How many times do I have to ask you not to call me that?” 

“What do you need?” 

“Open the door.” 

Sinara sighed, straightened her robe and selected ‘open door’ on the wall terminal. “You shouldn’t have come here alone. I have a terminal for a reason.” 

“No, I, I don’t need you to do anything. Were you asleep?” 

Sinara shook her head, distracted by people in the corridor beyond, stopped and staring, presumably at the fact that the prince was on their level of the Dome. She moved aside, motioning for Kasius to step inside. 

She leaned out the door towards the onlookers. “Get lost.”

“Sorry, lieutenant.” One of them muttered, hurrying along their compatriots. 

Sinara shut the door and whirled around. 

Kasius was standing near the half wall, seeming quite fascinated by the manufactured wood material. 

“What’s happened?” 

“Like I said, nothing’s wrong. I wanted to talk to you. Would you like to go somewhere else? I’d understand if you don’t want anyone in here.” 

Sinara scoffed, admittedly feeling a bit stung by the insult. “Too dirty for you, sir? Not all of us are royalty.” 

Kasius gave her an odd look, concerned, maybe. “I’m sorry, I misspoke, if you don’t want me in here, I understand.” 

_ Oh _ . 

Sinara was nearly touched by the offer, and her stomach was definitely tying itself in knots. 

_ Damn it.  _

She squared her shoulders and looked up at him. “Here is fine. You wanted to talk?” 

Kasius sat down on her cot, staring at his hands, resting on his legs for a moment before glancing up at her. “The messages. You’re not upset, are you?” 

“No. We couldn’t use comms.” 

“I know, my apologies, I just wanted to be certain.” Kasius seemed distracted and more ill-at-ease than she’d ever seen him. 

“You must be relieved to be rid of my stand-in.” She offered, hoping that the joke would make him act normal. 

“I’m awfully glad you’re back. How was the remainder of your journey?” 

“Trying,” Sinara replied. “I never want to spend another moment with Maston-Dar or Hek-Sel.” 

“My apologies about tomorrow, in that case.” Kasius offered. “Do you want to sit? I mean no offense, but you don’t look very well.” 

Sinara shrugged off the concern but took a seat beside him on the cot. She was a bit mortified to notice that she’d left her uniform on the floor and tried to subtly push it under the bed with her foot. 

Based off Kasius’s amused expression, he’d noticed, but elected not to comment. “I was quite sincere in my letter if there is something I can—” 

“Sir—” 

_ “Sinara!” _

“… Kasius, sorry about what happened during the bombing. Stop worrying.” 

Kasius reached out for the hand she had resting between them on the mattress, waiting for her nod before taking it. “I can try. And, if something happens, you can trust me, I’ll help you.” 

_ Why the hell do you care so much? What the hell do you want from me? _ She wanted to snap, she wanted to yell at him to just stop talking. But a much stronger part of her wanted him to never  _ stop talking _ . The part of her that prompted her to turn her hand around in his tangle their fingers together and hold on more tightly. 

“And I don’t want to hear apologies. It’s not healthy.” 

“Oh, you’re a shrink now? A lot happened in my absence.” 

“No,” Kasius hesitated, sounding defensive. “I read a book!” 

Sinara’s chest tightened, her heart felt like it was skipping every other beat. Against her better judgment, she slid closer along the cot and reached up with her free hand, holding it at the base of his neck. 

“What?” Kasius asked, concern creeping back into his voice. 

“What?” 

“Your expression suggests, you think,” Kasius paused, as though unsure what he was saying. “If you think it’s so outlandish for someone to c _ are about you, then I think my concern is warranted.”  _

Someone to care about you… 

Sinara pressed her lips to his, sliding her hand around his neck, pulling herself closer. His arm wrapped around her waist, holding her close even as he pulled back. 

“Are you certain that this is—” 

“It’s fine.” 

Kasius’s eyes flickered between her lips and her eyes briefly; she could almost hear him running through the facts he’d learned from that book of his. But he pulled her closer again, pressing his lips back to hers, gently yet firmly. 

The tension in her chest felt like it was exploding, building in her throat, falling into her stomach, leaving her entirely out of breath. She pulled her arm tighter around his neck, intensifying the kiss. The hand that held hers pulled away, slide up her side to touch her cheek. 

She leaned back against his arm, lowering herself to the cot, keeping her grip on him. He followed, rolling over her until he lay beside her, his torso leaning over hers, their legs tangling together. 

The metal frame of her cot screeched in protest of all the movement, Kasius jerked back as the sound registered. “ _ What the hell was that?”  _

Sinara had to laugh at that. “The bed!” 

“Is it safe?” 

She nodded, her fingers traced his hairline, ruffling then smoothing the hair. “Just hope the neighbors aren’t listening.” 

She kissed him again, lazier than before, his hands combed through her tangled, still damp hair. She wondered if he could feel how hard her heart was beating in her chest. His weight on hers was a little claustrophobic, not entirely bad, but enough to stir the fear monster in her chest. 

She pressed her eyes shut, hoping for once it would leave her alone. _ Be normal, you’re fine, you’re okay, you’re fine.  _

She took a shaking breath. 

“Sinara…” 

_ I can’t, you’re not _ . The monster whispered. 

She brushed him aside, a smile, and short laugh. “Just out of breath.” 

_ Shut up! It’s safe, he’s not F… _

_ You’re an idiot if you think he’s any safer.  _

_ GO AWAY _ . Sinara pushed the thought from her mind, focusing back on the ‘task’ at hand. As though to prove the point, she held Kasius closer, fiddling with the collar of his shirt with her free hand. _ I’m fine.  _

“Do you,” Kasius paused to draw in a breath. 

Sinara nodded. “You?” 

“If you’re absolutely certain…” 

“I’m fine, sir, wait, no,” Sinara let out a laugh at the slip-up. 

“Sir? Not again, S—” 

“Sorry!” She was laughing through the apology, some of the tension leaving her chest as she did. Her hands were shaking so hard from the laughter that she could barely manage to unfasten any of the buttons on his shirt.

Kasius was laughing with her. “I am begging you to break that habit.” 

“Shut up, help me,” Sinara muttered, allowing Kasius to attend to his own shirt while she tried to force herself to stop laughing. 

Kasius discarded his shirt on the floor and leaned back towards her, kissing her mouth, her jaw, her neck. His hands going lower and lower until they reached the belt of her robe. 

Sinara gasped. 

“Hey—” Kasius’s voice sounded much farther away than it should have been, distorted, some trick of her brain twisted it around until she heard something and someone else entirely. 

_ What the fuck are you doing? Faulnak said.  _

The fear monster snarled in her chest, the sound deafening her to all other sounds growing bigger and bigger, overtaking everything else, its darkness filling her chest and her throat. 

_ Oh no, no…  _

Moving seemingly of their own accord, her arms moved in towards her chest, pushing upwards, pushing the man leaning over her to the side. She couldn’t sit up quickly enough, couldn’t move away from the cot soon enough, couldn’t quite catch her breath. She stumbled towards the wall, bracing her hands on the built-in counter of the small kitchen area. 

_ Don’t fall over, don’t pass out.  _ Sinara reminded herself.  _ Damn it, you’re safer if you’re awake.  _

She was shaking, shaking like she was going to fall apart, her hands slid along the countertop with the effort of holding herself up on shaking legs. 

“Do you want to sit down?” 

Sinara looked over her shoulder at the sound of the voice, her vision was swimming, someone was standing there.  _ “Go away.”  _

“I’m not going to come any closer, but I can’t leave.” 

_ “Go away!” _ She repeated, raising her voice.  _ “Stop doing this to me!”  _

She probably sounded completely insane, but the words kept coming. “ _ Don’t come closer, I don’t care about the things you did for me. You don’t care!”  _

Faulnak didn’t respond, she could see him standing in her peripheral vision off her left shoulder, unmoving. 

_ “I want to stop, whatever the fuck that’s going to cost me, I don’t care.” _

Faulnak still didn’t move, maybe she’d thrown him off. 

_ “What the fuck do you want from me? I’m done, I’m done—”  _ She heard her own voice break, she snapped her mouth shut to suppress the sob she felt coming. 

_ I’m done being scared of you.  _

Suddenly exhausted, Sinara turned towards Faulnak, pressing her back against the counter and slid down the cabinets until she hit the floor. She drew her knees to her chest, leaning her forehead against them. She just needed to focus, catch her breath, apologize for losing her composure. Faulnak might understand; she was exhausted, she didn’t mean to be disrespectful… 

She wasn’t sure how long she sat there, repeating the thought to herself before another one occurred to her. 

Wait, that’s not right. 

She shook her head, blinking her eyes rapidly as though to clear them. There was something wrong; everything was hurting, she wasn’t injured, but her When she looked up, Kasius was sitting on the floor a few meters away from where she’d seen Faulnak standing earlier, eyes averted to the terminal on his wrist.

At her movement, he looked over, looking so pained that the only thought that occurred to her was beyond horrifying. 

“Did I hurt you?” She hated how her voice sounded, faint and shaky. 

“No, no, of course not.” He got to his feet and walked towards her. “Can I sit here?” 

Sinara nodded, and he slid down the wall as she had done, leaning his head back against it. 

Kasius was quiet for a long moment before finally turning to look at her. “I am so sorry, I should have known—” 

Sinara waved him aside. “It’s not your job.” 

Kasius shook his head. “Is it all right if I put my arm over your shoulders?” 

Sinara nodded, and he did; she leaned into the touch, burying her face in the space between his neck and shoulder. 

For a long moment, he didn’t say anything, the only sound was the faint scraping sound of his fingertips running across the material of her robe. The sound and the touch were strangely helpful, strangely calming, drawing all her focus to the present. 

“Sorry—” 

“ _ Don’t _ be, remember?” 

She swallowed hard against the lump building in her throat. “About the screaming.”

“It was more than justified if you ask me.” Kasius murmured, turning his head towards her. His lips brushed over her forehead as he spoke. 

They sat in silence for some time longer. Sinara was too drained to think, to do much of anything but doze off against Kasius’s shoulder. 

“Are you still awake?” 

Sinara hummed vaguely in response. 

“We should go to sleep.” 

Sinara couldn’t even bring herself to open her eyes or lift her head. Instead, she reached out, trying to find his free hand. Through her sleepy haze, the one thing she knew was that if she let him out of her sight again, there was a good chance she’d go crazy. 

He caught her hand. “Here.” 

“Don’t go.” 

  
  



	11. The Launch

_Year: 2048_

_Location: Ceres_

 

Sinara woke up feeling like she hadn’t slept at all. Her head hurt, her eyes hurt and she felt like she could sleep for at least another day.

It was five-hundred hours, so the fluorescent overhead lights had turned on automatically providing their customary, unpleasant awakening.

Kasius somehow managed to sleep through the lights turning on. She didn’t want to wake him; between the cot, screeching any time either of them so much as moved an arm, the ten minutes of convincing he’d needed to actually sleep on the bed, and how badly she’d scared him, she highly doubted he’d slept much. But, they were so tangled together; to get up, she’d have to disrupt him.

Kasius didn’t look different in his sleep; as at-ease as ever. Though, he was quieter; at least while unconscious, he could find a way to shut up. He’d fallen asleep still wearing his day clothes, and there were streaks in the white powder on his cheeks. It was on her pillow, and likely in her hair. He’d had absolutely no intention of staying, she thought, but he had when she asked him too.

How embarrassing.

She lay there for a few minutes, trying to piece together the events of the previous night. The horror had dulled somewhat, to the extent that she couldn’t imagine why she’d been scared at all. The unavoidable conclusion of that being that she was all messed up. She could be fine one moment, and a panicked security risk the next, and a bit later not wholly understand why what had happened was upsetting at all. She was certainly not fine, which might have been an easy enough thing to ignore if only Kasius hadn’t been privy to the whole thing.

Kasius, who, for all his narcissistic, self-serving, cowardly, ambitious tendencies had decided to care about her— allegedly. And who, despite all these characteristics was good at caring about things, knew that her entire mind was on the fritz.

And still, who the hell was she to get his help? Ambitious, manipulative, soulless to the point of tearing herself down with everyone else she hurt. She didn’t deserve someone, who, for all his faults, regardless of his motivations, gave more of a damn about people on other planets than anyone she’d ever met.

_Stop spiraling, there’s work to be done._

Sinara sat up, swinging her legs off the edge of the cot. For its part, the bed screeched in protest of the movement.

Kasius groaned. “That is quite literally the most unpleasant noise I’ve ever had the displeasure of hearing.”

“Sorry. Go back to sleep.”

“Where are you going?” He sounded half asleep, refusing to open his eyes.

Sinara hesitated, frowned and tilted her head at the question. “Airfield. I’m on your brother’s ground assault team.”

That woke him up, he sat up, pushing the thin wool blanket to the side. “I’d completely forgotten. Are you certain that you’re up to going?”

“There’s no other option.”

“You’re not well, Sinara. Not to mention, you barely slept. What good will it do to have you out there? I can make your excuses, you—”

Sinara held up a hand to stop him, then let it fall to rest on his forearm. “No. I have to. We’re winning this one, no matter what.”

Kasius covered her hand with his. “See to it that you come back, then.”

“Stop worrying.” She replied flatly.

“I don’t want my brother anywhere near you.”

“Ceres is small.”

“Tell me you want to come back from Astra.”

“Of course I do. I don’t take stupid risks.”

Kasius slid across the mattress until he was sitting next to her, and grimaced at the sound of the metal frame grating against each other.

She rested her head against his shoulder, tightened her grip on his hand, and suppressed a yawn. “Also, there’s a guy who owes me a conversation about some plants that I have to make it back for.”

Kasius laughed and pressed a kiss to her temple. “I’m sure he’s looking forward to that. When do you have to go?”

Sinara checked the time on Kasius’s wrist terminal. “In forty minutes. I need to get dressed.”

Kasius tightened his grip on her hand stopping her from moving away from him. “Already?”

“Let me go!” She sounded a bit more indignant than she meant to.

Kasius dropped her hand. “Of course, sorry. Shall I wait outside?”

“For all of level three to see? I thought you nobles had reputations to worry about. I’ll use the washroom.”

Sinara retrieved her combat uniform from the wardrobe and slipped into the washroom, which, she quickly discovered was no place to easily change her clothes. The space between the shower and sink was no more than a quarter meter wide, and the entire length of the room was at most two meters.

In the bright white lighting streaming down from above the mirror, she looked like a corpse. The circles around her eyes as dark as they’d ever been, her eyes were glassy and tinted red. Her skin was pale and papery, her hair was tangled but limp.

She splashed water on her face, brushed her teeth, and took her allergy preventing shot before shedding her robe and donning the undergarments she wore underneath her uniform, tight fitted pants that cut off near her mid-thigh, tall socks, and a fitted shirt. They were profoundly uncomfortable.

Her uniform was a standard jumpsuit made out of impact absorbing material and thus more fitted than the standard jumpsuit and traveling uniforms. It was outfitted with weapons storage, communications equipment, respiratory support for hostile environments and an Odium dispenser; all microtechnology that didn’t interfere with movement. Once on the shuttle, combatants would don powered armor; metal plating for the legs and torso with increased medical and weapons support, as well as a helmet with navigation and detection technology.

She pulled her hair back as best she could, but it was too short to avoid a good number of flyways. Before she could finish, Kasius was tapping on the bathroom door.

“Sinara?”

She pressed the button beside the door, and the door retracted into the wall.

Kasius held up his terminal. “The council is meeting for the airstrike launch, I—”

“Have to go?”

Wordlessly, Sinara stepped out of the bathroom and cross to the door to her apartment. She keyed in the passcode that undid the automatic, overnight lock and the door opened. She stepped aside to allow him to pass through the door, but he caught her arm gently; his grip loose enough that she could’ve pulled away easily.

“Sinara, be careful. I l-” He paused and looked away from her. “I’d hate to lose you, I don’t think any of the other soldiers here would be quite as good as you at the job.”

Sinara smirked at him. _Oh, is that all?_

“Among other things.” Kasius amended.

Sinara nodded and leaned up to kiss him; both of them pulling away quickly enough. As though they both knew that if they waited too long, neither of them would be able to leave.

“I’ll see you when you return.” Kasius grip on her arm tightened briefly before he released her and disappeared through the door.

Over his retreating shoulder, she could see Sata, who lived across the hall from her; staring between the two of them in curiosity. When Kasius disappeared into the elevating platform bay, Sata turned back to her a concerned question apparent on her face.

Sinara shut the door before the other woman could vocalize the thought,  turned on her heel and returned to the washroom.

_Back to work._

 

__________

 

Outside, the rain from the previous night had only let up a bit, but the wind had picked up; gusting sheets of rain over the field. Sinara was thankful for the waterproofing on her combat uniform, but her face and hair were soaked through by the time she had made it to the airfield.

The airfield was buzzing with excited chatter. The two ground teams stood outside their ships, rectangular, utilitarian vehicles capable of carrying thirty soldiers. There were about forty people between the two ground teams; fifteen soldiers, four lieutenants and a commander from the council for each group. Faulnak and the General from Sunal were the commanding officers, standing off to the side from the boisterous crowd of others.

Most of the soldiers were reinforcements from Hala, probably fresh out of the Institute there, rushed through after the decimation of the city and military headquarters. More than likely, most of them had never seen a battle outside of a simulation or drill.

Sinara skirted the crowd, putting it between herself and the commanders.

Vargas sidled up to her. “You look like shit. Rough night?”

Sinara shrugged, hoping he’d leave her be if she didn’t respond.

“Excited for the fight?”

Sinara didn’t even bother shaking her head.

“What? You’re ignoring me, uh?”

“Sinara!” She looked around at the new speaker, to find Sata hurrying towards her.

_Motherf—_

Sata caught up to her, and grabbed her arm, pulling her a bit away from Vargas. When Vargas tried to follow them, she pushed him back, and none too gently.

“Shove off, Vargas. Sinara, about this morning—”

“No.”

“I just wanted to ask if you need help.”

“I don’t. Let me go.”

Sata dropped her arm. “I know the others are pissed, but, I’m concerned. After everything with the Commander—”

Sinara laughed, but with little amusement. “And to think Faulnak thought he kept the secret well.”

Sata grimaced, sharing in her small ironic amusement. “Not really. And all the same, Hek-Sel can’t keep secrets after half a drink.”

“You don’t have to concern yourself with such, ‘shameful’ subjects. I’m fine.” Sinara snapped, throwing Sata’s words back at her.

Sata put her hands up in a gesture of surrender. “I’m sorry if you disagree. You’re young, neither of them is safe. When have Halans brought us anything but trouble? We just can’t trust them.”

“I’m not afraid of them.”

“No, you’re afraid of everyone.”

Before Sinara could respond, the General from Sunal began announcing orders; “Please report to your boarding stations. Take off in ten minutes.”

Sinara was third from the last to board on her strike team, Maston-Dar and Hek-Sel standing behind her, for once not talking. She watched as her other team members checked in with Faulnak, received their orders and ascended into the transporter. Sata went just before her, and as Sata climbed the steps into the transport, Sinara stepped forward.

“Sinara!”

Sinara stopped and turned to see Kasius striding across the field towards her. _Oh, what now?_

His appearance was slightly concerning, given his unwillingness to let her go just an hour earlier.

“How long until takeoff?” She asked Faulnak.

“Four minutes.” He replied.

She shot him her best look of exasperation. “Give me a second.”

She stepped out of the line and met Kasius halfway, gripping his forearms to stop him from moving forward. She turned him so that he was facing away from the others, but over his shoulder, he could see Maston, Hek-Sel, Sata, and Faulnak staring at them.

“What? What are you doing here?”

“I,” He trailed off, as though distracted. “Is everything all right?”

“Don’t ask always ask me that.”

“In my defense, you seem more on edge than the last we spoke.”

“I’ve been standing in the rain for twenty minutes about to battle. Are you?”

“Am I what?”

_“Okay?”_

Kasius’s expression softened. “Yes, of course. I didn’t mean to alarm you.”  

She paused, catching sight of movement over Kasius’s shoulder, the onlookers were joining them.

“We have company.”

Sinara released his arms, giving him a slight push to turn him towards the newcomers.

“What’s the problem, Kasius? We have important matters to attend to, you know.”

“Faulnak, this is a private conversation,” Kasius muttered, his teeth gritted. “You have three minutes left on your clock, if I could have ten seconds to speak to Sinara, I have some information for her.”

“Regarding the mission? I suppose we should all hear it, then.”

“No, personal information. Please leave.”

“What? Oh, Kasius, she doesn’t _care_ about you.” Faulnak sneered.

“Sir, we should go.” Sinara prompted, hoping the conversation would end before Faulnak made it worse.

“Silence!”

“Faulnak, don’t!” Kasius protested, edging slightly in front of her.

“Well done, Sinara, you’ve had more success with my brother than I. He’s all wrapped around your finger, is he? So convinced you need him he’s willing to step in front of a living weapon in a fight?”

“Sir, the launch—” Sinara didn’t respond to his insults. She looked to Sata for support, but the other woman, Hek-Sel, and Maston-Dar were too engaged in the conversation to look at her.

“What are you going to tell her? You love her, or something? Believe me, I have your best interests at heart when I tell you, she’ll leave you as soon as someone else serves her better.”

Kasius took the insult, not offering a response, or appearing particularly bothered by it.

“After all, it’s the only reason she left my guard, she thought you’d be easier to manipulate than I, and right she was. You’re weak—”

Faulnak’s terminal chimed, and he paused to check it. “We’ve got to go. We have more important matters to attend to.”

He turned back to the transporter, the three others hot on his heels. Sinara turned slowly, almost afraid to look at Kasius. Faulnak was right, she was awful, Kasius should have stayed far out of her blast radius.

Instead, Kasius wrapped an arm around her waist, and kissed her, gently, yet firmly, and all-too-quickly. Before she could adequately understand or respond, he was pulling away, turning her back towards the ship.

“I love you.”

When she turned around to give him to give him a shocked look, he was already hurrying back towards the Dome. And when she turned back to the transport, Hek-Sel, Sata, and Maston-Dar were standing near the entrance laughing as though they’d never seen a more amusing sight.

 

__________

 

Hek-Sel and Maston-Dar manage to continue mocking her during the launch, working through their shuttle, shaking like it was going to fall apart as it left the atmosphere— to mock her.

Sinara kept her eyes on the floor, mostly for fear of meeting Faulnak’s if she looked up. She didn’t know what she’d see there if she did, and had no interest in finding out. All the same, it was quickly pushed to the back of her mind, even with her colleagues’ taunts.

There was a task at hand.

She used the terminal attached to her seat to monitor the surrounding area for possible hostiles. Apparently, no one else on the shuttle gave half a damn about surviving because they made no effort to do the same.

She, at least, planned to make it out of today unscathed.

Nothing crossed here screen for nearly half-an-hour. She watched as empty space sped by them on the screen, their coordinate position shown at the top of the screen was scrolling almost impossibly fast as they rushed towards Astra. On the leftmost partition of the screen, a communications feed scrolled virtually too quickly to be legible; giving update after update on the status of the various ships in the airstrike fleet; position, hits, casualties and the like.

Sinara did her best to stay updated. Their signal must be getting mingled with that of the Astran communications, strange, incomprehensible messages kept flashing across her feed, momentarily making the screen glitch.

“You good?” Sata muttered, leaning over the space between their seats to speak quietly.

“Terminal’s busted.”

Sata shrugged. “I’m sure the pilot can see. This shuttle is a heap of junk anyway.”

Sinara nodded. “It’s not worrying.”

But,  thanks to the glitches, she caught their next problem too late, a missile sailing across the screen, tracing a path from an unidentified ship near their airstrike fleet.

_Strange that such a discovery hadn’t come over the communications feed._ She thought, a peculiar moment of blinding calm amidst the seizing feeling in her stomach.

“We have—”

_Too little, too late._

The missile struck the side of the shuttle, and the entire vehicle pitched to the side, turning over twice before stopping. Which was about the time Sinara processed what was happened; someone had crashed into them, her ears were ringing with the loud bang accompanying the strike, and she was clinging to her seat, instinctively to prevent herself from falling out of her chair.

At first, she thought the wind had been knocked out of her during the crash, her lungs burned and strained to find air. But when she looked up; she saw that a rather large hole had been blown in the opposite side of their transport. It was smoking and sparking, pulling air from the space inside the hull. Two of their foot soldiers had been killed by the explosion, their blood splattering their seat partners and the floor of the transport; black smears in the red emergency lights.

Most of the crew was unconscious. Hek-Sel and a few others opposite her remained conscious, grasping at their throats, and choking.

She couldn’t speak herself, and they wouldn’t have heard her over the sirens and the groaning of the ship. She waved at Hek-Sel, gesturing for him to seal the hole, they had the supplies for such repairs stored above the seats.

Hek-Sel barely made it out of his seat, gripping the edge of the stowaway compartment so desperately that she thought he’d pull it down as he sagged.

Her mind was getting a little foggy, strange and horrifying thoughts darting through her head. Hypoxia… they’ve got to get the hole covered. If I could unstrap myself… she was shaking too badly to manage it.

With the help of a foot soldier, Hek-Sel reached over his head and pulled down the cloth that could be used to patch a hole. Sinara wasn’t sure how exactly it worked, but under such extreme pressure, it stiffened to provide a substitute outer wall for the shuttle. Hek-Sel and the soldier twisted in their seats to spread it over the hole and hold it down until it had stiffened.

Too many moments later, the respirators pushed enough air back into the room for her to take in a gasping breath. The air stung in her lungs and throat and for a moment, it was hard to breathe between the fit of coughing. Stars sparked in front of her eyes, and the moment she managed to undo her straps, she slid to the floor.

“Seal it.” She managed, gesturing at the welder that had been knocked loose in Hek-Sel’s efforts. But, neither Hek-Sel nor the soldier who had helped him seemed inclined to move.

The effort to drag herself on shaking muscles, across the floor to the welder was enormous. But she managed to grab it, pull herself upright, and activate the device with trembling hands. She traced the blue flame across the seam where the cover met the wall of the shuttle, moving slowly until the metals had melted together.

When she’d finished, she tossed the welder aside and slid to the ground, finally allowing herself to listen to the emergency alerts on the ship's computer.

_“Engine failure imminent. Flight systems failure. Evacuate transporter.”_

  



	12. The Battle

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is for my dear friend Hyena ([hyena-print-studios](https://hyena-print-studios.tumblr.com)) who has been asking me about this chapter since the beginning and putting up with my endless rambling about this fic! Thanks pal & I hope you enjoy!

_ Location: Astra _

_ Year: 2048 _

_ “Fuck!”  _

“How close are we?” Hek-Sel groaned, undoing his own straps and sliding to the floor. Though, he immediately used the seat of his couch to pull himself to standing. “Hey! Pilot!” 

Sinara looked around to the cockpit; the pilot was hanging forward in his couch, straining against the restraints, dead or unconscious from the collision. “Fuck!” 

But, instead of making for the cockpit, Hek-Sel continued to stand and watch as she pulled her self upright and clambered to her feet. 

“What are you waiting for? You’re a fucking pilot!” 

“I was trained as much as you were, and only recreationally beyond that?”

“The entire time we were traveling to Hala, you didn’t know how to do an emergency landing?” 

“No. Are we sure he’s dead?”

Sinara stumbled towards the cockpit, catching herself on the arms of the row of couches; annoyingly her legs were still shaking and clumsy. The pilot was dead, hit by a piece of debris that the explosion had knocked into the cabin. She scanned the screen, they were continuing on despite emergency alerts, only one hundred clicks to Astran airspace. 

“Dead. But we’re not far.” She turned to look back at Hek-Sel, a few others were beginning to stir and look around in horror. 

   Many of them looked to Faulnak for orders, but he seemed more groggy than the rest of his soldiers, clearly hanging onto his last thread of patience and ready to fly into a rage without notice. No one dared speak. 

   She rolled her eyes, _ of course, he couldn’t be trusted to be useful when it counted _ . “Anyone here a pilot?” 

One of the soldiers struggled to his feet. “I’ve flown one like this before, once.” 

“Once?” Someone grumbled. 

“Shut up, Nag-At.” Sata chimed in, rubbing a hand across her forehead. “Let him do it.” 

“Was the other transport hit?” Hek-Sel asked. 

“No.” 

The soldier, who claimed to be a pilot made his way to the cockpit, shrinking out of the way as Sinara brushed past him on the way back to her seat. 

She settled back in her couch beside Sata, doing the straps far tighter than necessary. 

“What the fuck happened?” 

“We got hit.”

“By who?”

“Not exactly the priority.” Sinara squeezed her eyes shut, but even her eyelids weren’t enough to block out the red emergency lights swirling around the cabin. 

“Are you scared?”

Sinara opened her left eye a crack. “No.”

“You’re better at this than I am then,” Sata muttered with such candor, Sinara was reminded of Kasius. “Space travel is the worst part of the job.”

The transport shuddered and groaned, the pilot yelled some announcement that Sinara couldn’t make out over the shrieking of the vessel’s damaged thrusters firing up. _ They’d entered Astra’s atmosphere. _

Sata swore under her breath, her fingers gripped their shared armrest so tightly that they turned white.  

“How are we doing?” Someone called across the cabin. 

“Landing is not looking good.” The acting-pilot called back, his words met with a chorus of grumbles and a slightly smaller volley of follow-up questions. “One minute to the ground.” 

“Are we still on course?” Faulnak asked, sounding considerably calmer than everyone else in the cabin. So calm that it was clear the shaking in his voice was only a result of the jostling transport pod. 

“Yes, Commander.” The pilot answered. “We’re still on course to land just outside their primary settlement.” 

The pod had no landing gear, intended to be lowered in using thrusters. With the thrusters damaged in the attack, the landing was lopsided; one corner of the transporter colliding with the ground first, then the other three, supported by weak thrusters.

The noise of the crash was tremendous; screeching and crashing metal, the sudden cessation of wind rushing around the pod. 

When they hit the ground, Sinara was nearly thrown from her seat in spite of the straps holding her down. The straps were nearly tight enough to slice through her uniform for a moment before she was thrown back into her seat. 

Though, it was a miracle and a testament to the pilot’s abilities that the pod hadn’t flipped, so Sinara supposed she should be grateful. 

Around her, soldiers were unstrapping themselves and trying to stand, yelling reports about how badly the transport was smoking. They wouldn’t want to be nearby when the fire got to its power source. So, she flung off her straps and followed suit to the transports airlock and exit and into the world beyond. 

Astra was freezing. It didn’t look like it should be a particularly cold planet, at least on the part of it where they stood. Red sand stretched in one direction until it merged with the orange sky. On the other side, there was a city,  a collection of low white and red stone buildings, the first of which was about fifty meters from their current position. No settlement without tall buildings was considered a city by Halan and Kree-Laran custom. But the Astrans were famous for diverse scenery. 

_ Well, that and one of the worst wars this millennium. _

The fifteen and odd soldiers gathered around Faulnak about twenty meters from their wrecked transporter. All of them standing at attention, facing the city and awaiting their orders. 

“Sir, we lost our armor in the crash. Probably weapons and communications tech too.” Maston-Dar said he had his hand pressed against his profusely bleeding forehead. 

“Everyone has their weapons’ belt, correct?” 

The soldiers nodded in agreement and unison. 

“Then we go on. We didn’t lose too much time, the crash saved us some actually.” Faulnak began, his words eliciting a wry laugh from his charges. “We’ll make for and take the government headquarters as planned. With our transporter gone, there is quite literally no other way out of this. We’ll meet with the others after they are able to take the military headquarters.” 

Again, the soldiers nodded their assent in unison. 

 

_______________

  
  


The streets of the Astran settlement were deserted, which was expected, their intelligence reports assured them that this was the night on Astra; bright as a Ceresian day. Sinara wasn’t sure how that came to be, it was something Kasius would have known. 

But the empty streets made for easy sneaking; strange how a planet under siege in the middle of a way would have no guards walking about. Sinara had heard things about Astrans, they didn’t care for security, they were weak and only prepared for offensives—  _ apparently, that wasn’t all propaganda bullshit.   _

They made it to the headquarters of the government; a low white building of curved lines and domed ceilings. There were guards at the gates, easily taken care of with a quick flick of her fingers, compelling the orbs to snuff them out from behind. 

With the guards gone, their party moved out from behind the nearby building and walked up to the gates. They opened the gate with a metal key card taken from of the corpses. Thus far, no alarms had been raised, the Astrans were terribly secure on their own planet. 

Though, she supposed that’s what had happened on Hala four months ago. 

Faulnak switched on his terminal, tuning into the communication channel with the other ships. “We’re in position.” 

Indistinct voices came over the terminal, confirmations that Faulnak owed no response. And a few short moments later; there was the sharp whistle of a missile, followed by an explosion; a few buildings over at most. 

The reaction was instantaneous. Alarms roared to life across the city as the Kree fleet launch three successive bombs at the city. Guards were pouring out, away from the government headquarters, making for the military headquarters a short distance away. The command building was essentially left wide open.

_ Just as they’d thought.  _

Faulnak split the group; Hek-Sel took a few soldiers to the side entrance, Sata took a few soldiers to the rear door. Which left her, Maston, Faulnak and the remaining three soldiers to take the main entrance. 

Sinara swallowed hard against the lump in her throat at the idea. She couldn’t afford to dwell on the events of the previous night, or anything else. Bizarrely, she found herself imagining what Kasius would say to that impulse; what he’d say maybe about a book he read. Then he’d do something like ask to hold her hand and to tell him about it. Perhaps he’d say the thing he said on the airfield again—  _ Don’t even think about that.  _

Through the main entrance, there was a grand torch-lit hallway occupied by only two soldiers who jumped for their communicators the moment Maston opened the door. She stopped them, her orbs traveling quicker than she could have, embedding themselves in their chests. One slumped forward off his chair, the other fell to the side; their green blood pooling on the floor underneath them, small rivers of the stuff forming in the cracks between the tiles. 

Faulnak briefly examined the map their intelligence had given him of the building before directing them into a secondary hallway. 

This was where they met trouble; in the form of the twenty Remorrath soldiers waiting for them in the building. 

_ Ah, that explains the torches.  _

The Remorrath leaped at them, moving as a unit, crowding them against the back wall. Sinara managed to injure the two nearest her with a knife; two jabs to the underside of their chins. But they weren’t so easy to kill. 

One bent over, clutched at his wound; she flung him against the wall as hard as she could. His head snapped back, and his skull caved at the force of the blow. The second was recovered and started towards her, the claw beginning to protrude from the end of its arm. Sinara grabbed the outstretched arm, pulling it back, around her. The Remorrath’s claw drove through the sandstone wall, making it difficult for him to pull free. Sinara stabbed it five times in the stomach; the thing’s ‘blood’ — if she could even truly call the brown sludge ‘blood,’ coated her hands. 

She dried them on the corpse and glanced around. Faulnak had taken care of a few, as had Maston, one of their foot soldiers lay dead near the door. And three more Remorrath were coming towards her. 

Sinara sent her orbs after one of them, repeatedly bludgeoning his head with them until he fell— and impaled himself on the claw of another corpse. Sinara stepped over the spasming Remorrath, using his still raised shoulder as a step-up in her path to the two others. She threw a few punches and kicks between the both of them to no avail.

One caught her arm and threw her back against the wall hard enough that her vision spun for a moment. She was sure that she’d broken at least one rib from the new searing pain that came with gasping for air. 

Sinara was laying there, momentarily too winded to move, the two Remorrath closing in over her.  _ You’re losing time _ . She sent one of her orbs through each of her attackers’ eyes. 

One collapsed over her legs, its head landing on her stomach, bleeding everywhere. 

_ Gross _ . Sinara thought testily, pushing the corpse to the side and stood. 

The hallway was littered with the corpses of Remorrath and their three remaining soldiers. Faulnak was rising from kneeling beside his final kill, brown blood smeared across the left side of his face. Why he insisted on always doing that would forever remain a mystery to her. Maston was looking around, seeming a bit shocked, though Sinara couldn’t imagine why he’d seen worse than this in the early days on Ceres. Both of them looked at her bloodstained uniform with a strange approval that made her want to shudder. Blood, she could handle, these idiots were a different story. 

The corridor split at the end, one door led to an office that led to a bunker and the other to another hallway of rooms. 

“Strange that they waited until we came in,” Maston commented, lazily kicking at one of the corpses. “It’s like they wanted to lose or something.” 

Sinara nodded her agreement, and both of them looked to Faulnak for his analysis out of habit. Sinara knew he wasn’t likely to offer anything intelligent if he offered any at all. 

He didn’t. 

“We’ll split here,” Faulnak announced. “Sinara, take the office and bunker. Meet us back here once you’ve finished your sweep.” 

Maston and Sinara nodded their agreement, and Maston and Faulnak disappeared around the corner without further discussion. 

Sinara tried the door to the office; it was locked. She examined the hinges; it was an inward swinging door made of wood, she thought, both of which worked in her favor. But all in all, it took four kicks to bust the thing open. A regrettable thing, really, if anyone was inside, she’d lost the edge of surprising the occupant. 

There were three Astrans inside, yet she didn’t recognize any of them as the significant figures that should be in this room. No military and government leaders whose faces were always plastered on the newsfeeds, though she supposed it was possible that they were at the military headquarters. 

The three Astrans still seemed quite surprised to see her. They were clearly inexperienced— _ green, in more ways than one _ . She thought, rather amused with herself. 

They delayed in pulling out their guns; she was across the room and disarming them before they had them fully raised. She deposited the guns on the floor, one of the Astrans grabbed her arms, holding them behind her back. 

Sinara pushed off the floor, leaning against her assailant to support the roundhouse kick she used to bring down the other two, if only for a moment. As she did, she pulled the knife in her weapons belt free and as soon as she landed; drove it into her assailant’s ribcage. 

He released her, she spun, grabbed the knife and slashed it across his throat; pushing his chest as she did so he’d fall away from her. 

The other two were easy fights, a matter of holding them down while the orbs did the dirty work. 

She glanced at the corpses on the floor, sprawled, the green blood seeping across the white stone. The entire exchange left her wondering why they’d left such amateurs in charge such a critical building, and room. Not that it mattered, with it secured, Taryan would have access to any and everything he could need to beat the Astrans. 

Sinara secured the bunker, it was empty of both soldiers and furniture; an austere brownstone room with no apparent function other than a bomb shelter. She gave her all-clear confirmation over the channel on her terminal. She was met with a confirmation from Sata that the rest of the building was secured as well, and a confirmation from the General of Sunal, that the military base takeover had gone over successfully. Both reports included reports heavily casualties, Sata was the only one of her six-person team to survive, the General of Sunal had only five of his twenty men still standing. 

They’d been studying Astra from Ceres long enough to know they had no way to escape underground. Hardly her area of expertise, but a fact she knew with near complete certainty. 

Sinara was just moving out the door, into the stairwell when she heard it; the all too familiar sing of a missile. On instinct, she retreated back into the bunker and the heavy door behind her. She slid to the floor, head covered by her arms and her hands braced against her neck. The room shook slightly with the force of the explosion, dust drifting down from the ceiling. 

She could hear the building crumbling above her; rocks falling and settling for a long minute before everything finally settled. Whatever had happened, it hadn’t been directly above her, the sounds had been too far off for that.

Fortunately, she didn’t hear anything colliding with the door she had leaned against, though through so much metal, the information wasn’t entirely reliable. 

She pulled out her terminal and checked for messages; there was one alert letting her know that the bomb had been an Astran counterattack.  The flight team was on it while they secured the buildings for the Emperor’s arrival. 

When the explosion’s aftermath settled, she pushed the door open, cautious not to disturb any rocks that might have fallen against the door. The corridor was as clear as she’d left it, so she ventured out and back up the stairs. 

She was only reasonably certain that no more bombs were forthcoming but undoubtedly certain that waiting in a bunker wasn’t her duty. 

The entryway where she’d left Maston and Faulnak was partially collapsed, leaving her only option to move through the building to enter the private quarters they’d disappeared into. 

The first room was littered with the bodies of five guards, but no sign of her colleagues, so she moved to the next room, and the next, they wound backward in a semicircle towards the site of the explosion. The back of most of the rooms were caved in, ceilings open to the orange sky and choking dust swirling in the air that made her cough violently enough to rival her allergies on Ceres. 

In one room, she found Hek-Sel, or rather, his corpse; chest torn open in a gruesome tangle of viscera and his ruined uniform. 

She pressed on, ignoring the jolt in her stomach at the sight. They’d never been particularly close, or fond of each other, but she’d known him well, she supposed. 

She found Faulnak and Maston in the fifth room, or rather, they found her. 

“Sinara!” A hoarse voice called, somewhere behind her as she entered the room. “Help!” 

She whirled, glancing around and eventually down to the pile of rubble in the room. Maston had propped himself against the pile, his leg was bent at a terribly wrong angle, and he was scraped and bruised on every inch of exposed skin. 

“Maston,” 

Her eyes flickered lower at his look, to see Faulnak. He was lying on his back, rubble laying over the lower half of his legs and one of his arms. He stared straight ahead, breathing evenly, seemingly totally calm despite his injuries. Blood, a lot of it, too much of it was pooling on the ground between him and Maston-Dar. 

Then, he looked over and flashed her a bright smile. 

Her chest seized with fear, then anger at the reminder of the night with Kasius. 

_ I’m done being scared of you. I’m done being scared of you. I’m done being scared of you.  _

And some of the tension she was holding in her chest gave way, seeing him pinned there, immobilized and hurt. Sinara only regretted that she hadn’t been the one to drop the bomb. 

“Do something, fucking damn it, Sinara. This is no time for your nonsense.” Maston snapped, his voice tight from pain. 

_ No _ . The orbs spun over her hand before she almost realized what she was doing. Before she even let herself realize that she was done helping them. 

“What are you doing?” Faulnak asked, his voice weak and breathy from the pain. “We have been through too much together for you to refuse us now, I have given too much too you—” 

“Shut up.”

“Sinara,” A tremor of laughter ran through Faulnak’s voice as he spoke, he sounded almost impressed. “I don’t know what my brother’s gone and gotten into your head, but this is foolish. What are you without me?” 

The orbs dipped lower to her hand, as though the part of her controlling them was swayed. 

“What do you have that I did not give you?” Faulnak demanded. 

The orbs settled in her hand as she considered what he was saying, she wasn’t consciously taking him seriously, but the old pathway of thoughts formed over the past five years was powerful enough to stop her in her tracks.  _ Maybe, maybe, maybe.  _

Maston was staring at her, relief in his eyes as she stopped threatening Faulnak. 

“What are you without me?” Faulnak demanded. 

_ No! I’m done being scared of you! _

Sinara sent the orbs hurtling towards his chest, still barely thinking about her actions until the orbs buried themselves in his chest; in a spurt of blue blood and two wet thuds. 

He barely had time to exhale in shock before the injury stopped his heart, relaxing to the floor final groan. 

Maston cried out, then wretched, then swore, before gathering himself. “Sinara, what did you do?” 

“He was too far gone.” 

“He wasn’t—” 

“So are you.” She produced a knife from her belt and flicked it towards him.

It hit in the middle of his neck, and she turned away, back to the series of rooms in front of her. 

Before she left, she sent the orbs into the ceiling to knock loose a few more rocks, no one would ever be any the wiser. 

She continued on her way, feeling some way she never had before; not relief, not happiness—  _ free _ . 


	13. The Truce

_Location: Astra_  


_Year: 2048_

Sata was waiting with her two remaining soldiers outside the compound, both of her lackeys were badly injured, one of them was unable to stand and had collapsed on the dirt. In the distance, Sinara could just make out the incoming ships from Ceres bringing the emperor to accept their enemies’ surrender of the city. 

“Where are the others?” Sata asked. 

“I never found them after the explosion.” Sinara hoped that her monotone would pass as unhappiness. “Hek-Sel was dead before it.” 

Sata looked skeptical, but she made no mention of it. “The others will be here soon with medical reinforcements, they’ll be able to do more than you.” 

“How long until they arrive?” 

“Ten minutes at most.”

Sinara considered this, wondering briefly if it was safe to share her observation with Sata. Deciding that it couldn’t hurt, she spoke, vague enough that her meaning could’ve been denied. “Something was wrong.” 

Sata nodded. “We shouldn’t have been so seriously challenged, none of our intelligence ever suggested that, well I suppose you weren’t here, but the analysis was sound. There’s no reason this should have gone as it did.” 

“If there were a leak, we would have not gotten into their airspace.” 

“And our scanners made no mention of Astran ships up there if they have the technology to disguise themselves.” 

Sinara shook her head, not unwilling to accept the thought, but in disagreement; it didn’t add up.  

“You hurt?” Sata changed tracks. 

Sinara shrugged, the gesture sending a spike of pain through her injured ribs. “A bit. You?” 

Sata returned the gesture, her hands lifting lazily in a shrug more from the arms than the shoulders. “A bit.” 

“Excited to see your boyfriend again?” 

“We don’t need to do this.” 

Sata nodded, seeming relieved as she turned to look at her remaining soldiers. “You two gonna’ make it until medical arrives.” 

“Yes, sir.”

They paused as the hum of four approaching ships grew louder and louder as they circled lower and lower, eventually landing in the open space in front of the building in a neat row. 

The wind pushing and pulling at her hair and clothes and the morning sun reminded her of the day after Hala was destroyed, watching Taryan, Kasius and the other refugees step off the transporter to Ceres. How different things were now, she mused, though this time she stared determinedly at the sand beneath her feet. She was suddenly and inexplicably anxious for the reunion; between what she’d done, and what Kasius had said; she imagined it might proceed a bit awkwardly. 

Kasius didn’t miss a moment in walking over to her when the exit ramp extended from his ship. Or so she figured, the time between the ramp thumping on the ground and his appearance in front of her was hardly more than a minute. 

“Sinara!” 

She glanced up at him, ignoring the sick feeling in her stomach. 

“You’re all right.” 

She hadn’t considered how it looked from the other end, a bomb hitting the building where she was assigned. For some reason, he must have been worried sick. 

“I love you too.” She said, the thought coming into her mind. She spoke not entirely of her own volition and surprised herself with her openness. 

For his part, Kasius’s face lit up, almost bright enough to outshine the Astran sun and he pulled her close to him. 

And despite the blood all over her uniform, too. 

One of his arms wrapped over her shoulder, the other wrapped around her waist, fortunately avoiding her injured ribs. Sinara tried to reciprocate the gesture but moving her arms hurt almost as severely as breathing. 

“Are you hurt?” Kasius asked, sounding like he already knew her answer. 

“Cracked rib. What’s going on?” 

“I’m unsure, actually. My father knows more than he’s let on to me.” 

Sinara lifted her head from his shoulder leaned back far enough to look at his face, trusting the question in her expression would suffice. 

“He received some communique or another that’s changed his mind on the war, he intends to negotiate peace with the Astran leader.” 

“When?” 

“Right now.” Kasius sounded as surprised as she felt at the news. 

Her thoughts seemed muted by exhaustion; she couldn’t process the magnitude of the news or think of anything else worth saying. 

   Fortunately, it didn’t seem necessary that she did. Kasius guided her over to a bench on the other side of the courtyard. It was made of the same sandstone as everything else in the city, and half collapsed after being hit with an explosive. He had her sit on the few feet of the bench not collapsing into rubble. The minute she sat down, exhaustion washed over her. 

   Across the courtyard, Emperor Taryan was causing quite a commotion yelling his orders; he wanted to see the leader of the Astrans, and he wanted the building swept for survivors. Somewhere in the back of her mind, Sinara knew that there was something in there that she should care about. It took her a long moment to remember the corpses she’d left behind in there. 

   “Kasius,” She hadn’t intended for her voice to sound as frantic as it did. The lack of sleep was really getting to her. 

   He glanced down at her, brow already furrowed from her tone. “What?” 

   Sinara glanced around, no one was standing in earshot, and no one paid them any attention over the demands of Taryan. Nevertheless, she flicked her hand, beckoning him closer for fear of being overheard. 

   Kasius sat on the very edge of the bench beside her, leaning in so she could speak quietly even with the ruckus in the courtyard.

   “Your brother’s dead.”

   Kasius considered the information, as expected, he didn’t seem all that broken up about it. “Who did it?” 

   “I did. Maston-Dar as well, he saw.” 

   Kasius looked surprised, but still, not angry. It took him a few moments to gather his words before speaking. “What happened?” 

   “I was downstairs when the blast went off, Faulnak got pinned, and Maston was injured. I killed him instead of helping him out from the rubble. Maston questioned my course of action.” 

   Kasius nodded. “You didn’t make it too obvious that something else killed them?” 

   Sinara shook her head. “The building collapsed further on top of them.” 

   “Good, then, what happened was a terrible tragedy. You’re lucky to have lived through it.” 

   Sinara smiled at him briefly, aware that they were probably attracting some attention from the soldiers, not partaking in rescue efforts, or Taryan’s diplomatic efforts. Probably best for her to stay as untangled as possible with Kasius’s public image, even if he was going to be stupidly romantic about everything. 

   After a moment, Kasius stood and moved a few paces away, fiddling with his communicator more for something to do than for any other reason. Sinara had to force herself not to be nervous at the gesture given that she’d just confessed to murdering his brother and a widely admired lieutenant. 

   Five agonizing minutes later, one of Taryan’s aides approached him, and they exchanged a few words. The aide put her hand on Kasius’s forearm as though to hold him steady, so she must have been delivering the news of Faulnak’s passing. 

   Appropriately, Kasius bowed his head and muttering a few words that Sinara couldn’t make out. 

   The aide nodded, not seeming particularly moved by Faulnak’s passing, or Kasius’s words, keeping a front of sympathy for those she needed to impress — Sinara had been there. She said something else, gesturing back towards the ship Kasius had arrived on, then left. 

   Kasius approached her again, seeming a bit nervous. “They found Faulnak, he’s dead.” 

   Sinara wanted to look at him in confusion but noted the three foot soldiers standing off her left shoulder, watching them. Instead, she acknowledged the statement with a solemn nod. “I’m sorry, sir.” 

   Kasius clearly opened his mouth to protest, before remembering they had company, and changing the topic. “My father will meet with the Astran leader now, he wants non-essentials off-planet for the talks. And, as his new successor, that means I, or rather, we have to go.” 

   Sinara nodded again, dreading even the short walk to his ship as she rose from her seat. 

   “Do you need medical assistance?” Kasius asked, likely off her displeased expression. 

   “No.” 

 

___________

After the ship took off, they were free to move about the interior as they pleased, so Kasius began the walk down to his quarters. 

The emperor’s ship was unlike anything Sinara had ever seen. Where the people-movers and warships were exposed piping, sharp corners and old metal, Taryan’s ship was elegant. Long, rounded hallways, made of fiberglass and lit with soft blue lights. Each hall flowed into the next as elegantly as flowing water, and the doors off the hallway were arched and retractable. Some of the corridors, residential ones, she supposed, were carpeted with identical patterned red runners. Not even the air had the stale, astringent taste of a people-mover or combat vessel. 

In her blood-stained combat uniform, she felt very out of place aboard the vessel. But the other occupants; mostly members of the Halan Security Council and their personnel, the handful of survivors from the ground teams, and the flight crew barely seemed to notice. Everyone moved around clumsily from their exhaustion, as though they were in a dream. Only the flight crew moved about quickly, whizzing past in their red jumpsuit uniforms, calling orders to each other. 

The shining white walls vaguely reflected the movements of the ship's occupants, disturbances in the gleaming of the blue lights creating a strange, dizzying effect.

Kasius didn’t seem bothered, his hand held her forearm as though to steady her. 

Sinara hadn’t realized she’d been swaying or zig-zagging down the hallway until he grabbed her. 

“Are you sure you’re okay?” 

She nodded and allowed him to pull her down a residential hallway, her feet tripping slightly over the thick carpet. 

Kasius shot her another look, this time seeming close to irritation, or maybe exasperation. 

The last door in the corridor was his; he opened it with his terminal and stepped through. Sinara glanced down the hallway to see a few of her peers staring around the corner, nosy assholes. 

“Do you know where the lieutenant’s quarters are?” 

Kasius looked taken aback. “Down one level on the right.” 

Sinara nodded and turned to leave. 

“You should stay here,” Kasius said abruptly, leaning after her. “Those quarters are practically a dormitory, I doubt you’ll rest well with all the noise. And frankly, I doubt you’ll survive the walk down there.” 

“After last night, I can’t possibly—” 

“I didn’t mean, uhm,” Sinara swore he was blushing somewhere beneath all that make-up. “I’m not trying to sleep with you, or, well, yes, but only in the literal sense of the term. I just, you should, or do you want—” 

Sinara glanced over her shoulder to see the onlookers had disappeared. “Okay.” She cut off his nervous rambling and stepped through the door after him. “Can I use your washroom?” 

Sinara washed up quickly in the bathroom, feeling slightly guilty as she watched the water meter tick from dark to light green, by the time she’d finished she’d taken up fifteen percent of the hot water. She dried off and dressed in the clothes that had been left out in the bathroom; they were significantly too large for her but she couldn’t very well sleep in her uniform. 

Kasius was sitting on the bed when she emerged, so absorbed in something on his terminal he didn’t look up until she stumbled on a shoe he’d left discarded in the middle of the floor. 

“What happened?” 

Sinara stared between him and the shoe for a long moment until he had the good sense to shoot her an apologetic look. 

She sat on the opposite side of the bed, reclining against the multitude of pillows stacked there, unsure of what to say next. 

“Feeling any better?” Kasius asked, moving into the center of the bed, closer to her. 

Sinara nodded. 

“How’s your side?” 

Sinara shrugged, she’d completely forgotten to glance at it in the mirror, she usually avoided looking if she could. 

Kasius grimaced. “Do you want me to look and tell you?” 

Sinara lifted the hem of her shirt to the middle of her ribcage and sat upright. Kasius glanced at the injury and took a sharp breath. After inquiring if it was all right with her, he felt the inflammation, his fingertips grazing over the bruised skin. 

Her breath hitched slightly and he drew away. “All right?” 

Sinara nodded. “Keep talking.”

“You’re going to need medical.” 

Sinara let her shirt back down and groaned, slumping against the pillows, tilting towards Kasius. “How do you know?” She almost sounded petulant, which was a supremely horrifying thought.  

“I’m a doctor,” Kasius responded; he sounded hurt that she’d had to ask. 

“Of genetics.”.

“I simply don’t understand why everyone seems to think that genetics and biological responses aren’t related. Honestly, I understand quite a lot—” 

Sinara looped an arm around his neck and kissed him. “Shut up, I’m not going anywhere until I get some rest.” 

“Sorry.” He returned the kiss, sweet and so soft she barely felt his lips against hers; she found herself leaning after him instinctively. 

“Do you want me here, or—”

Instead, she let her head drop onto his chest, and her arm wrap around his middle in response. In turn, his arms settled around her, mindful of her injury but drawing her closer. He pressed a few kisses, light as a feather to the top of her forehead. 

“Goodnight, Sinara.” 

 

___________

  
  


Sinara woke sometime later to someone repeatedly knocking on the door— hard. Kasius showed no sign of awakening at the noise, barely stirring when she slipped out of his arms and moved towards the door. Even when she stumbled over the shoe still lying on the floor. 

It was only after she opened the door to Sata’s shocked expression that she remembered that it might have been wiser to make Kasius answer the door.

“Sinara? There you are!” Sata paused, then asked the more pressing question. “What are you doing here?” 

Sinara didn’t answer her question. “What is it?” 

“We’re supposed to be waking the council members to deliver the news.” 

_ Really? _ Sinara’s thoughts unexpectedly turned much more bitter.  _ Fight all day, act as a messenger at night…  _

“I’ll wake K— the prince.” 

She turned, leaving the door open, but not inviting Sata in, disappearing around the corner to the bed. Kasius was finally stirring with all the noise. 

“Kasius, Sata is here with news. Wake up.” 

He peeled his eyes open, turning towards her. “Sinara? What are you doing up?” 

Sinara opened her mouth to respond, not quickly enough to stop him from carrying on. 

“Are you feeling any worse? Can you breathe? Where is my terminal?” 

Sinara held him against the bed, with a firm hand on his shoulder. “Lieutenant Sata is here to see you. I’m fine.” 

“Ah, I see.” Kasius sat up and pressed a kiss to her cheek. “Thank you.” 

He slid out of bed and cross to the door, Sinara followed closely behind him, standing at his shoulder when they reached the doorway. 

“What is it?” 

Sata glanced between them, apparently unwilling to let the issue go. “The war is over.” 

Kasius started at the news, a tremor running through his whole body. 

“What the hell?” 

Sata shrugged. “I was told to tell you to read this statement.” She offered him a terminal she produced from her pocket. 

Kasius snatched the terminal from her and scanned it quickly, then handed it to Sinara. The memo, in short, was a statement from the Kree, Remorrath, and Astran leaders acknowledging that they’d been manipulated into going to war with each other by a man, a Terran, they had both seen as an ally. It didn’t mention who the ally was, only that he was far more dangerous than their recent conflict. 

Kasius seemed to know who it was, though not in any great detail, just that he’d been feeding his father’s obsession with the Destroyer of Worlds for many years. And that Taryan had thought him a valuable asset on that front due to his being from Terra. 

Sinara wasn’t that concerned with how the war ended. It was strange enough, but she’d survived the ordeal and had a place to go after this. Any of the politics beyond that was none of her concern or interest. 

“We’re headed for Ceres,” Sata said, taking back the terminal. “We’ll pack up our outpost there, for now, and return to Qol on Hala to begin work on repairing the destroyed city.” 

Kasius nodded.  “Is anything required of me at present?” 

Sata shook her head. “Your father wants the council to meet tomorrow afternoon once we reach Ceres.”

“Very well then, good night.” Kasius went to shut the door, but Sata stepped between the door panels. 

“Sinara has work to do.” 

“Right.” Sinara suppressed a groan, starting towards Sata. 

Kasius caught her arm, pulling her back gently. He sounded surprisingly angry when he spoke. “She certainly does not. Get out of my quarters.” 

Sata shot her a glance, clearly willing her to just come on, not to listen to him. Sinara was almost sure Sata thought this was another Faulnak situation. 

She glanced at Kasius and nodded in agreement. “It’s fine.” She told Sata.

The lieutenant shrugged and turned to leave, the door hissing shut behind her. 

She turned to Kasius, in the tiny entryway, they were nearly standing on top of each other. “Thanks.” 

“Come now, we’ve only been sleeping for three hours.” Kasius pulled her hand gently, guiding her back to bed.

When they had settled again, and she was dozing off against his shoulder, his hand tangled in her hair— Kasius began talking again. 

“You’ll go to Qol, won’t you? Of course, if you want to return to Tak and Kree-Lar, you’re free to do as you want to, but I hope you will consider—” 

She shifted so she could look up at him more directly. “I’m not leaving.” 

His face lit up in relief, and he kissed her, slow and soft, his hand sliding to cup the back of her neck. He was still smiling like a fool when he pulled away. “I love you.” 

Sinara swallowed the new nervousness that came from saying it back. Nonetheless, her voice was a bit unsteady.

“I love you too.” 

___________

 

The next time she woke, it was Kasius prodding her shoulder— with considerable urgency. 

Sinara was instantly awake, sitting up so quickly she almost collided with him. 

“What’s wrong?” 

Kasius seemed to struggle with the words for a moment, speaking only as he held out his terminal. “Astra is gone.” 

The terminal screen showed an image of a debris field where Astra had once been. 


	14. The End

_Year: 2070_

_Location: Kree-Lar_

There are many stories about what happened to Hala, it was a frequent topic of debate on the streets of Tak, and presumably across the rest of Kree-Lar. The outpost was the last vestige of Kree civilization nowadays, it was impossible not to want answers.

So, the citizens spent their days in the mines and on the streets, spinning tale after tale about how two planets had ceased to exist, one after the other, in the space of five years.

Someer was surprised by none of this. After all, his life had been a long series of questions surrounding the event; nothing else had captivated public attention in quite the same way in half a century.

Even still, Kree-Lar was bleaker than Someer had ever imagined. In all the time he’d spent thinking about the place before leaving his home on Ceres, he had never imagined that a place could have so little color. The planet was grey, and brown, and more grey; seemingly some poetic reflection of the state of things there.

It was raining when he’d stepped off his transport at the docks in Tak, three days earlier. And the rain hadn’t let up since.

He’d kept to himself for the past three days, locked away in some flophouse nearby the docks, adjusting to the new environmental conditions. He watched the rain from his window, strangely mesmerized by how the water formed rivers and puddles on the pitted pavement streets.

It was a bit ridiculous, but he allowed himself the excuse that it was a distraction from his aching muscles in such high gravity.

And, if he was more honest with himself, a distraction from preparing himself for the worst once he started looking.

All of this annoyed his guide, Kala-Yar to no end, she tapped on his door every three hours asking if he was quite finished moping yet.

But, she annoyed him to no end, so he supposed that was even.

His guardian, Sata, and her wife had hired Kala for him before he left. They worried endlessly that he’d only get himself into trouble unaccompanied on a strange planet. So far, Kala-Yar had proven distinctly unhelpful.

Someer had lived whole life as Sata’s ward in the Kree Consulate on Ceres, meeting only the handful of his people who worked at or passed through the Consulate. Not that there had ever been many, the home planet, Hala had been destroyed, nearly twenty years ago now. He had been only a few weeks old when it happened.

All he could remember was Sata single-handedly arranging for Ceres to become the primary supplier for the surviving Kree outpost on Kree-Lar.

It felt right to be here. Even without the name, he always felt that Kree-Lar was a place he ought to visit. He had a reason now he supposed.

Someone rapped on the door.

_Kala again._

Someer pushed himself off the bed, its metal frame screeching in protest; he jumped at the sound, it was an unduly unpleasant sound that sent shudders down his spine. He had to force composure as he approached the door.

He punched the release code into the terminal, and the door retracted into the wall.

As the door opened, he paused to straighten his robe in the mirror beside the door, and fix a smudge in the white makeup on his right cheekbone.

Kala stood just outside the door; she was nearly a head shorter than he was but athletic and muscular, she dressed formally but practically with her long hair pulled into a tail at the base of her neck. Her thin face looked out of place on the rest of her body, and she wore a perpetually stern expression.

Someer might’ve thought her a soldier if he didn’t know better; rather she was an employee of the new Kree government.

Now, she was staring at him with a stern, yet questioning expression.

Someer sighed, not offering her a greeting beyond a tired glance.

Kala rolled her eyes. “If all this so bad why did you even leave paradise planet?”

“I’m looking for someone, I’ve already told you.”

Kala looked tired, maybe a little sadder. “If you’re looking for more survivors you won’t find them. Honestly, you off-worlders are ridiculous, the number of you who think your loved ones magically showed up here when Hala blew it’s top… if I have money for every one of you, I certainly wouldn’t still be your tour guide. ”

“So you’ve mentioned, and as I’ve said before, she may not have been there.” Kala-Yar talked far too much, he was exhausted after two of her questions.

“Eighty-five percent of our population was. What was it you said you did on Ceres? I can’t imagine what career someone so dense could possibly—”

“I’ve only just finished my education when I return I’ll be a botanist.”

“You’re going back?” Kala sounded surprised. “What do you have there, your mother?”

Someer shook his head. “I don’t have a family. Just Sata, and if you must know I’m looking for someone she knew once.”

“What’s the point of that?”

Someer shrugged, he knew why it was important to him. But he also knew that Kala-Yar would laugh in his face if he told her. “If you’re so impatient, we should get on with it. Do you have a records building?”

“Yes, the military headquarters, or any government office really, is there one you’d prefer?”

“The closest?”

“Nothing’s very close to this shithole, so I hope you’re ready to walk.”

Someer was not. He arrived at the location Kala-Yar had selected, exhausted from the gravity and dripping wet from the rain. He caught sight of his reflection in the window of the building; the carefully-applied white powder on his face had washed away.

 _This was the beginning of a personal vendetta against rain._ Someer thought bitterly as they stepped into the atrium.

Kala busied herself with wringing out her cloak, leaving another puddle of water on the floor. Someer followed her lead, flicking the water off the sleeve of his cloak and adjusting his hair.

The building was old, it had been lovely once, the dark wood floors were scratched and filthy, the walls were water-stained, the extravagant decorations were dusty, and their colors were faded. The glass door behind him was scratched, spattered with mud and covered in handprints. He recognized the style from pictures; modern fashion from the Halan capital; now as dead and faded as the Halan capital.

Standing there, he was beginning to feel a bit nervous about what he’d find here, after such a long time.

Kala-Yar showed him into a back room with several wall terminals, gesturing as though to say _all yours._

Someer gathered himself, pushing the nerves to the side. He wouldn’t have, except that it seemed silly to come all this way and decide he wasn’t ready after so many months.

His hands danced over the keypad, tapping in the search, then stared for the agonizing ten seconds it took the system to identify the results.

There was only one, and his heart sank when he saw the profile.

Kala-Yar didn’t seem particularly bothered by the news, but her voice carried a minute amount of sympathy. “What are you going to do?”

“Keeping looking,” Someer replied, his eyes flickering back down to read the words on more time.

_Name: Sinara_

_Location (last known): Hala_

_Status: Unknown_

______________

_Year: 2053_

_Location: Hala_

The moment Sinara stepped off the transporter, onto the landing pad, she was surrounded by five aides all yammering over each other for a bit of her attention. Strange how in the ten hours of radio silence while she was on the people-mover from Ceres, that many urgent crises had erupted.

She held up a hand, and the aides fell silent. “Which one of these is so fucking urgent I can’t breathe the air before being briefed?”

One of the aides raised his hand. “The Xandarians conducted military drills—”

“No.” Sinara held up her hand again, and he fell silent.

No one else stepped forward.

 _Good._ Sinara stepped past the two aides blocking her path and continued towards the entrance to the Imperial compound. It was quite early in the morning, the sky was vibrant orange from the rising sun, turning the blue stone green and the white stone yellow. She almost paused for a minute to stare at the sight; she’d been away on Ceres for over one hundred and fifty days. Fifty of those days had a summit between the Kree military and surviving Astrans on Ceres to decide what action to take in their fight against _whatever_ had destroyed Astra. She’d gone months in advance for the preparations as was expected of her as commander of Halan Imperial Military— among other things.

Sinara shuddered, pressing the button for the elevator a bit harder than necessary as though it would push the unpleasantness from her mind.

“Everything all right, ma’am?” Her guard, Ess-Jan asked, stepping into the elevator a moment before her.

“Ask me a question like that again around here, and I’ll kill you.”

Ess-Jan, wisely, remained silent for the rest of the way to her quarters. She almost found herself wishing he would say something stupid to distract her from the knots tying themselves in her stomach — almost.

Sinara dismissed Ess-Jan before entering her quarters. There were guards posted outside it throughout the day either way, and she supposed she’d kept him away from his lifelong enough at this point.

She entered her quarters; the first room was spacious with white walls and a domed ceiling. Three sets of floor-to-ceiling windows lined one wall, looking out on a balcony that overlooked the compound’s gardens and the sea beyond. The space was decorated according to Kasius’s specifications because she didn’t give a shit about it either way. So, the furniture was dark wood, the upholstery was white, with gold and blue detailing, and the amount of silk draped around the room was excessive, to say the least. The main room branched off to two washrooms and three bedrooms on one side. And a series of smaller rooms consisting of a library room, two offices, and a reception room, all accessible without going through the central living area on the other.

She made her way to the bathroom that adjoined with their bedroom, the second bathroom and spare bedrooms were perpetually unoccupied, which seemed like a bit of a waste to her. They were meant for family, she supposed. But after Emperor Taryan passed in an unfortunate incident that she may, or may not have been involved in orchestrating, three years ago — neither of them had family to speak of.

She removed the red silk drape she wore over one shoulder and belted around her waist over her blue blouse and loose-fitting trousers, and draped it over a hook in the wall. She lay the rest of her clothes on the bench. It was day-to-day uniform really — if she’d been doing anything important, tradition would have mandated she wears a long skirt and fewer bright colors. The dress uniform was her least favorite part of life on Hala, they were always so heavy.

Her favorite part of life on Hala was probably the shower, she’d gotten quite used to no water restrictions in the past five years. The hot water did a bit to soothe her nerves. After nearly twenty hours of traveling between the station, and the people-mover to Hala, it was quite a relief. But, it wasn’t as though she’d had the choice to take an Imperial vessel after Kasius had pleaded with her so often over the past few months not to come home.

 _Life’s going well for you on Hala, then?_ Sata had asked, it was the first thing she said when Sinara had walked into her office. _You’ve come a long way in five years._

Sinara remembered nodding and spending a few minutes on frivolous stories about her new life. Sata returned with a few of hers— she’d gotten married, developing Ceres kept her well and busy.

It was ten minutes, and three refused offers of wine later that she was able to get to the fucking point.

_Things are getting worse. The threats and incidents are coming at least once a month. Anyone who knows anything spends their days terrified of that thing coming back and turning us into another Astra._

_The old war has yet to end. What will you do?_ Sata had replied.

_Same as always. Kasius asked me to stay on here, permanently, but that’s stupid. It’s not like either of us can leave this time, not yet._

_I suppose not._

_Nevertheless, I need your help._

Sata had sat up at that, hand reaching for her terminal; _What do you need? A place for refugees—_

Sinara had reached out, trapping her wrist before she could activate the terminal. _No._

Sinara shook herself; she’d wasted enough time being a coward in the washroom. She switched off the water, retrieved a towel and dried herself, and donned a robe before making for the doorway to the bedroom.

Kasius was still asleep, even after all the noise she must have made; he really could sleep through anything, it was going to be a security risk one day.

Sinara crossed to the bed and sat on the edge; the mattress sagging at her weight. She tapped his shoulder lightly, then considerably harder when the first attempt proved ineffective. His eyes fluttered, and he groaned in protest as he turned over the face her.

“Hey,” He began, seeming not to realize the what was going on as he caught the hand she had on his shoulder and held it in both of his.

“Hi.” She returned, quiet, wondering when he was going to snap out of it. She’d rather get the arguing and berating over with now.

A moment later, he sat bolt upright. “Sinara!”

“Who did you think it was?” Sinara demanded, allowing an edge to creep into her voice.

Kasius frowned. “To be perfectly honest, I thought I hadn’t woken up yet. You’re not supposed to be here.”

Despite his protestations to the contrary, he pulled her into a tight embrace, his hand brushing over her back again and again as though he were comforting her. She could feel the slight tremors from the tension in his shoulders

“Are you all right? How did you get here? What were you thinking, traveling, right now?” He spoke quietly, but half-frantically.

“I didn’t care.”

“What about—”

“Don’t.” Sinara interrupted sharply, before adding a quieter: “Please.”

“Now I could have sworn I told you not to come back here, multiple times, over many months.” He pulled back to look her in the eye, keeping his arms draped over her.

Sinara didn’t respond. Certainly, her look said enough about how stupid she thought he was being.

Kasius relented, his shoulders collapsing slightly inward as the tension in them fell away. “I missed you.”

He kissed her, the hand not holding her to him settled on the back of her neck.

Sinara pulled back quickly, putting her free hand over his mouth gently. “Gross. Go clean your teeth.”

Kasius groaned again but disappeared into the bathroom as per her request.

While she waited, she wandered over to the large window overlooking the gardens and the sea. The sun had risen fully and was shining— brilliant and white, off the water. Sinara suddenly felt calmer than she had in months. The room, these quarters, Kasius— it was her safe haven for the past few years.

The year after the ceasefire with the Astrans and the destruction of Astra hadn’t been easy. She wanted to say that their last night on Ceres was the last time she had ever thought about what happened with Faulnak, but it had been far from that. Somehow, Kasius had handled it with seemingly endless patience; standing by for so many nights while she shouted, or cried, her head not quite in reality. Eventually, she did begin getting better, and then worse, and then better, her mind spinning a strange cycle between fear and confidence. But, longer still after that, it faded into the background and all but disappeared.

Kasius still worried about it, most of his pillow talk was a well-practiced list of questions making sure she wasn’t about to fly off the handle.

Things were good, since Taryan passed, and Kasius became Emperor, and they came here; it was safe. That is, until the thing that destroyed Astra made a reappearance nearly a year ago, now.

“Missed the view?” Kasius asked, somehow he’d managed to walk up behind her — _I’m losing my touch._

Sinara turned away from the window. “Maybe. Do you want me to say I missed you more?”

“No, never.” His arm slid over her shoulder, easily turning her back to the window. “I am glad you came back. How was the embassy?”

“I’ve talked to you every night since I’ve been gone.” Sinara protested. “I didn’t like it.”

Kasius kissed her temple. “Really? I hadn’t heard.”

Sinara rolled her eyes, turning to look up at him. “You made me go, asshole.”

“I love you.”

She wound her arms around his neck, rising to stand on her toes. “Love you too.”

She kissed him, one of his arms wound around her waist, the other rested awkwardly against her arm, gripping her shoulder. He pushed her back gently until her back pressed against the window, the hand around her waist pulling her upright as though he thought she would fall. She wrapped her legs around his waist, pulling herself upright until she the one leaning over him, her forearms slid forward and pressed against his chest, hands splayed across his neck and cheeks. Her fingers traced lightly over the ridge of bones at the top of his neck.

Kasius turned from the window— somewhat awkwardly while holding her up and stumbled towards their bed.

By the time they were situated on the bed, Sinara couldn’t not laugh at him, pressing quick kisses to his lips between bursts of laughter.

“Shhhh.” Kasius protested.

She wrapped her leg over his hips, pulling herself over him. “No.”

“Wait,” Kasius tried to speak seriously over their rapid breathing, his hand moving from her cheek through her hair. “You’re feeling all right, aren’t you?”

Sinara nodded and kissed him again, not bothering to return the sentiment as she began to undo the button on his sleep shirt. He was kissing her neck, fingers trailing up the side of her leg and torso until he reached the sash holding her robe in place.

He hesitated again. “You’re absolutely s—”

But, he never did get around to finishing the question.

______________

 

After, and after Kasius’s almost endless questions, she was dozing off in his arms, her head resting against his shoulder. His fingers were tangled in her hair while he rattled on and on about something that had happened the previous evening with one of his advisors.

Doubtlessly, she would’ve found what he was saying at least a bit interesting if she wasn’t so tired. She felt much too heavy from fatigue to even consider moving, and she could feel herself oscillating between consciousness and dozing off.

Eventually, he paused. “Are you awake?”

Sinara forced herself to open her eyes, the effort was nearly painful. “I feel like I haven’t slept in a month.”

Kasius ran his hand over her back and kissed her forehead. “I’m so sorry.”

She had a feeling he wasn’t talking about waking her up. “Kas’—”

“I should have been on Ceres.” He looped his opposite arm over her waist; pulling her closer against his chest.

She shifted in turn, slinging an arm over his chest and nestling her head in the space between his chin and his chest. “I missed you too.”

“We did the right thing.”

“I know, I love you, shut up.”

______________

  
  


In the expanse of space, no one can hear a planet break apart. But the survivors of Hala always say it was deafening.

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading and thank you to my beta, E <3!  
> ~sinara_smith


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